stunned sorrow

Wow... I am once again stunned by the cold ferocity potential in people. Even though I have have been through soo mamy lows and highs of life's hardships, I always seem to feel so very sheltered and somehow oblivious upon hearing of such horrible violent news... that could, and has, happened in normaly mundane and peaceful enviroments.

My heart goes out to those who have suffered at the hands of such senceless anger as seen in the news of late, as well as to thier families whose grief cannot be measured in mere words.


I recall a time... when I found myself unwittingly under the iron fist of abuse. It took me many years to get over the hurt, anger and pain of it all.. untill I gradually realized... they might be now beyond the laws of man, but they hurry so, to face the ultimate judge's ruling, for which they shall be made acountable... no escape, no fast-talkin deals.

I'm actually glad of this, because I am certain I would make a terrible judge, already biased, as I am, against them. I'm afraid I'd be tempted to do something to them quite a bit lower, or at least as vile as they did to thier victims. Not something I'm pleased to admit, but at least its truthful eh?

Soo..for some reason, finally groking this, has caused me to release the grudge I harbored inside. I no longer feel the pained-anger quite so much. Rather, I simply feel profound saddness that such things happen. Sad that, in defence for my own future, I have had to stuff a year or so of my growing years into a mentally bound-up 'box' and stash it in the blocked-off 'painfull-moments' section of my mind, so I can get on with living.
Yeah, I forgive them for being such infernal idiots.. and will leave it up to the bigguy to deside what, if anything, should be done with them in life's aftermath.

Besides, holding all the bitterness inside was just eating me up, not any help whatsoever, so it was with some relief that I finally got shed of it.

Oops_there she goes again

Once more, the random ill-timed portal has swept me away from my home in Dereth and I have found myself standing outside the gates, sadly looking in. Who only knows how long it will be before I can once more respond to Asherons Call. Bleh.. I'm feeling lonely already!
I may be something of a fool at times, but this isn't much of an April joke. heh.. Guess Its time to slide back into the saddle on another "gamin" pursuit. I'll get back to you on this, I'm sure.

Sorry for the long time between posts, btw.