The Drama bus stops here & the King just disembarked

Before you say I toja-so.. I'll say, you probably right. Seems my heart is quite good at getting me into trouble, intended, conscience or otherwise. Everyone warned me.. they all said it was done with when he first dropped it all onto my head. I know. I cried and agonized and cried some more over it all, then thought... maybe, just maybe.. we could still be friends... if i work harder at guarding myself.. to distance myself should I feel trouble in the making... and just when I started to relax, thinking it could maybe work, and I was fairly happy... it all happened again. Somehow he turned everything around, twisted it, and threw it into my face. So yeah.. ok.. I know it for real now. the boy has mental issues, 'broken' and victimized by his own warped will. and while I can handle a great deal, simply for the sake of friendship... I can't handle this one anymore. He has gone and torn us apart once again..and this time.. I don't think there's any hope of retrieval... even as I can still feel my tendency to support him.. hoping it was just a tantrum. He can be a loving fun personality, but his mood-shifts are out of control, he is volatile, with a whiplash temper at the most unexpected of times. I can do without his sudden verbal abuse.
I -am- greatly saddened by the whole mess... and by the loss of, what I considered, a precious friendship. All of this was due to my attempting to apologize for thinking I stung with my words.(I responded in kind when he said he thought I was the moodiest person he had ever met.)

In words of those whose sage advice I hear with a bit more clarity today.. "You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em. Know when to walk away, and know when to run." -The Gambler

This is me... walking away... at last.



Listening to: the soft purring of a cat
Reading: not much..makes my eyes really hurt.
Current Show: none
Feeling: sad
Internet Tabs: Facebook
Obsessing Over: none
Current Concern: wondering how much longer I will be staying with Facebook (and Mabi?), and where I should go next. Thinking I might be needing an indefinite break.

urghishness!

Make the World go away
by Hank Cochran.. sung by Elvis :P



Make the world go away
Get it off my shoulder
Say the things we used to say
And make the world, make it go away

Do you remember when you loved me
Before the world took you away
Well if you do, then forgive me
And make the world, make it go away

Make the world go away
Get it off my shoulder
Say the things we used to say
And make the world, make it go away

Now I’m sorry if I hurt you
Let me make it up to you day by day
And if you will please forgive me
And make the world, make it go away

Make the world go away
Get it off my shoulder
Say the things we used to say
And make the world, make it go away

Please?
------------

Been another drama day for me. After all the hubub and dust settles once again, I am left feeling. oddly down. Not.. bored and depressed exactly. just... down. Not sure just what to do about it yet. Maybe the feeling will just go away on its own, do you think? A person can always hope, I suppose.

Touhou - Bad Apple

What wonderfully talented shadow art!

Touhou Project - Bad Apple
feat. Nomico

another damp day in the heat of the moment

Happy Mothers day to all you moms out there!

The weather where I am, is going on summer steam. Somehow it still feels like its early for such a thing. Maybe it's just the typical dread of the summer months getting to me. I hear it's still snowing in places in the north. Wish I was there already. well, maybe it will rain and cool things down a little. A person can always hope, I suppose.

Don't you just hate it when a company or group, makes for a mandatory password change, then changes the 'secret' question to requiring some other bits of information that you cannot hope to remember.. all without saying a word? This has happened to me just recently. and for the life of me, I cannot figure on just how to rectify the problems this has created.

In other thoughts, I was speaking to a friend of mine last evening, who was lamenting about the past and how things have changed.. wishing and missing.
She added that it's kind of funny how you run to a game or something, hoping to get away from reality's drama... and before you know it, drama is created within the game. now, the whole deep thoughts concerning drama aside, I can agree with her. It's almost hard to believe that so much time has passed, that things should change enough to make me miss how things were. (Pardon the muddled thoughts getting in the way of my trying-to-be-clear sentences.)
I do miss a few things even within the world of my current online home.

I miss how things seemed so fresh and new.. with new people/friends/experiences around every corner. The fun I had running all over the place. Its almost...like.. cant quite put my finger on just what in particular has changed.. something I didn't notice until it was gone, I guess... or is it just me?

I used to love any excuse for a celebration.. the otter was my totem..
anymore though, I'm starting to wonder if it has changed to the badger. Just want to be left alone in my grumbling misery. What changed? Why? How might I get that spark of life back again?

ehhh my eyes hurt.

Listening to: Ace of Base
Reading: not much
Current Show: Star Trek Voyager
Feeling: grumblish
Internet Tabs: Mabi
Obsessing Over: whys
Current Rant: ...