Before you say I toja-so.. I'll say, you probably right. Seems my heart is quite good at getting me into trouble, intended, conscience or otherwise. Everyone warned me.. they all said it was done with when he first dropped it all onto my head. I know. I cried and agonized and cried some more over it all, then thought... maybe, just maybe.. we could still be friends... if i work harder at guarding myself.. to distance myself should I feel trouble in the making... and just when I started to relax, thinking it could maybe work, and I was fairly happy... it all happened again. Somehow he turned everything around, twisted it, and threw it into my face. So yeah.. ok.. I know it for real now. the boy has mental issues, 'broken' and victimized by his own warped will. and while I can handle a great deal, simply for the sake of friendship... I can't handle this one anymore. He has gone and torn us apart once again..and this time.. I don't think there's any hope of retrieval... even as I can still feel my tendency to support him.. hoping it was just a tantrum. He can be a loving fun personality, but his mood-shifts are out of control, he is volatile, with a whiplash temper at the most unexpected of times. I can do without his sudden verbal abuse.
I -am- greatly saddened by the whole mess... and by the loss of, what I considered, a precious friendship. All of this was due to my attempting to apologize for thinking I stung with my words.(I responded in kind when he said he thought I was the moodiest person he had ever met.)
In words of those whose sage advice I hear with a bit more clarity today.. "You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em. Know when to walk away, and know when to run." -The Gambler
This is me... walking away... at last.
Listening to: the soft purring of a cat
Reading: not much..makes my eyes really hurt.
Current Show: none
Feeling: sad
Internet Tabs: Facebook
Obsessing Over: none
Current Concern: wondering how much longer I will be staying with Facebook (and Mabi?), and where I should go next. Thinking I might be needing an indefinite break.
1 comment:
Sali I hope you feel better. I think it's a good thing that your moving on, from the tid-bits I've heard about the situation I think it's all for the best, no matter how much it hurts. I hope you feel better soon. *hugs* : )
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