Ah the foibles of life. These days, with all thats going on here and across the globe, its hard not to get all caught up and wigged out about what yesterday, was no big deal, today is all about a big deal. seems like just when you get one thing figured out, everything changes and you find yourself having to scramble to catch up on it all again. and in one aspect, I feel its just too much and why am i trying so hard.. and in another, I feel I should be trying harder, or my expectations are gunna rear up of a sudden and I'm gunna be drowned in them again. (thereby, making no real sence at all, even to me.) I detest running into my own expectations. so, let me start again with something I'm a bit more comfy with.. even as things around me keep getting in the way.
An update with Minecraft.. and whats comin up. 1.17 thus far is a few really nice changes.. new blocks, new mechanics. and the usual lack of direction from yours truely... meaning myself. with the second part, being 1.18 showing sneak peaks along the way toward the end of the year.
I stepped into a new portal... for the second time... and somehow got to meet some pretty cool friends. I have been much like the times.. a bit chaotic. time of month, alergy sneezes and stuffed thoughts, full of muzzy cotton. ..paranoia and fear... and not watching out for my own facts of reality. I have been showing my lows, and been more than a little frightened of things that i am looking forward to, will ring hollow... and thus far.. theyre still there, these friends. (arn't they?)
I started in the nearest town.. straightening out roads, and farming areas... not realizing someone else had already laid claim. I saw the town fizzle and villagers disapearing.. and then roaring back of a sudden via replenishment of a creative admin. i learned about.. and am still learning about just what it means to have a lack of mob griefing.
I have tried to move across the swamps and dark oak.. using my idea of a nether hub for ease of transport. and got a slightly better connection I am none too sure i should be trusting.I settled into a small village of cedar and spruce.. trying to keep things small scale hoping it will keep the lag monster from chewing on my ankles. I then created a bridge, spanning the very ocean to reach another village i had 'adopted'. the bridge is still not completed. but the new village became more of a town sitting on the edge of the new updated plains.. and a geode was found there, along with several new blocks I am hoping will soon become a bit more versitile, stairs, walls, and slabs.
my spruce home has become a place of all new underwater activity, with the axeys and the glow squid... and the drowned. I became interrested in the ruins in the water and have spent considerable time enjoying the benefits of a conduit I placed down there...temporarilly, I told myself, and up until a day or so ago, was still saying. I descovered the properties of copper and its value as lightning rods, shocking as it was. (pats down frizzled hair) somehow i got them up just in time. and am now thinking there must be a way to make a few new houses, in between what already exists... and yet there is space uphill I have done not a whole lot with. I did put up a wall, at last, on the land side anyway... since the woods are full of zombies and skelis. still considering tree houses.. even as I dont wish to copy anothers idea.
ahead of us, there is both aprehention and joy for the new dynamics of the coming update. caves and cliffs part 2. With monsters only being able to spawn in complete darkness.. and my adversion to said darkness...and ample use of torches and fences... should be welcome, with the expansion of the world.. bigger caves, getting in the way of my mining style. *grumble* and shivers for the new wardon I hope I will somehow be able to mentally surmount like i have the enderman.
I am learning more about how to fly.. with the rockets..(so halfhazzardly) and swim..with the dolphins.. and that lovely conduit. I got to meet someone who is much like me in creative building.. and seems a bit more sympathic to my foibles. I feel I have learned a lot.. to the point I feel i need to write it down, lest I forget it all. I am slow, I have realized, with building and projects. Very slow... and weeks with just being content not to do much of anything.
That reminds me, i have yet to see 'the hubby's' lightnouse build on that lonely island. I wonder but wont ask the question in mind.. these days, its just better not to risk getting into it. Wish I could remember that bit of sage advice when I feel the impulse to howl at the wall. Either back it up or shut it up... problem is how to 'back it up' when the news and truth, mixed with nontruth and lies, is all over the place?
Its the day and age of rage.
edit: boy, has it ever. Someone who's friendship I valued, turned out to be toxic and quite hateful toward me... came out of the past to once more smack me soundly about the head and shoulders.. (I'll Just call this person Bob) to me it felt quite sudden and i was stunned... but as I felt the emotions ebb over me.. I realized it was nothing new.. I just didnt expect it to be such a big deal... I had forgotten the intence feeling of pure hatred washing over me via Bob. and the insane "reason of opposites".. I had tried to be of support to someone I viewed as a good and true friend... Bob had gone through a difficult time. Aparently, at least in Bob's book, i suck at good advice and should have realized it sooner... like as in before I thought that my support was actually something that was wanted. I had forgotten. I had forgotten all about the ill-feelings toward me, voting instead, to remember what a good solid friend this person was. Some things have changed.. some things, aparently, have not. I truely, am sorry, that after all this time, its still a fresh wound to Bob. Beyond that, I wont even try to give advice for moving on.. to anyone but me. I choose not to encounter this toxicity in my life anymore. I chose to take my own 'good advice', and move on. Short of the jitters and a few tears, I got over it. I recall now, some of those feelings of hatred in my life... from other sources. they are like a sad echo.. stuck behind me in the past.
I suppose that would be the beauty of losing one's memory. you forget the angry pain as well as the mountain of regret.
edit/update... learned something I was -really- slow to realize today... I seem to have the avengers 'banner' for a trivia partner... he has a secret i was slow to figure out. some people in this world really are... always angry. truely, that can't be good for thier health. its really a sad to realize as well.
Is it possible to have high blood preasure and be anemic at the same time?
Does a person have to be born with autism, or can it be aquired over time? .. can a person get autism though one's parents if they dont have it? I watched a video the other day who spoke of such things.. having a hidden autism... and the signs to reveal it. i did fit that idea. well.. for certain I'm an overthinker.... at least it sounds a bit less of a clinical thing.
