A question in thought

 Scanning the news earlier, someone had asked. Name something you are tired of. It didnt take much time at all to come up with several answers to that one. jumping to immedant thought was,how tired of this laptop skipping letters, n spite of my best efforts to be clear as to which letters i am pressing... i still have to go back over every other sentence with a corrective eye. so, beyond the usual typos, im sayng a quick frustrated sorry for all the missing ''i"s and spaces.

ahem..'m tired of all the struggle for day to day living going on. especially at the low level i am on. Soo many people are struggling for smple necessities, like a loaf of bread or  a living day to day wage. there are no real jobs for the unsklled that pays enough to even support the day to day. ts not a wonder there are whole cities of homeless.especially those with an actual tent. seriously. and those cities are growng every day, more and more people are filng in, having no other where to go, starving, and destitute. and to think, ts not just where i am, but all over the world. what brought us to this..new low in the burden of existence? I'll bet you can make a pretty good guess. how are we to fix it, I wonder. Its enough to make a person very paranoid me-thinks.

.........

In other thoughts. new game to talk about. Sun Harvest. its a farming game only..a whole lot more. ts often compared to a great game called Stardew Valley.and i can certainly see why. it has, soo many skills/professions.. like exploring, mining, crafting, combat, tailoring,cooking, questing, carpentry, a moving and engaging storyline as well as farming. if you likr farming games,check out the Sun Harvest gameplay on youtube sometime. its well worth the effort to look.

In Comment? no comment -.-

 Had a conversation the other day that got me thinking. It was a conversation about the new leader in chief.. of the 'free' world. I was told the person was an a-whole.. and the worstest in the business. I simply couldn't agree. The reason was not because of the name-calling.The fellow probably IS an a-whole... certainly I don't think he would make a good friend. but... because being a leader n chief has little to do with a personality, and everything to do with his ability to lead.. His polices are what makes the job.and if nothing else, he has proven that his policies work well for everyone he leads. he has put a check on all who have and would take advantage of us. he has shown the world strength and a united solidarity and independence that might have made past leaders pleased of the accomplishments. many others looked up to us.

In comparison, his opposite may just be the nicest sounding guy on the planet, but his policies have proven, hes no-one's hero. His policies have led us into a horrible spot on the world stage.He has drained our resources nearly dry and has given nearly all of our hard earned assets away. and when he couldn't get all of us to agree with him, he encouraged new peoples to come.. friends, enemies, legitimate and not. We didnt know any of them,they overran the border,and when we complained that there were terrorists and cartels, rape, and trafficking, and deadly drugs, he ignored us and further put the screws on, by going all soft on wrongdoers, and letting them out to roam the streets. His policies and spending, started the rise to the economy.. making good jobs that would support peoples living, harder to find by making everything more expensive to get while still keeping stiff competition with all the newcomers. many people have lost much if not all, and have been driven to destitution and desperation by these policies.

and this person sits there and tells me the a-whole is the worst? I'm sorry. i think not.When it comes down the the core of the issue I'd rather an a-whole with good solid policies that work for the benefit of those he leads, than a nice guy with beyond crappy policies that don't work and knowing he couldn't benefit the people he's leading if they were all standing right dab in front of him dressed in rags and pleading. 

Just look at him people!

The bloody emperor has no clothes!!.

why is it, when friends figure out you didnt follow thier own viewpoint about something, they suddenly no longer wish to really talk with you?i mean, other thanthat one thought, you get along fine. and  this one thing only being a talking point and not something earth shattering. I just think friendship is more important than this. am i the only one who thinks so?  change my mind.

Edit 2 .... Ok.. should i learn to no longer open my mouth when im trying to be light in a dark space with a friend?

Think i just got blocked for a well and fun-intentioned ribbing mid conversation.

gets out the litterbox...

Not feeling the greatest today. gots a few issues with a minecraft server i have been visiting the last year or so ago. Its a pretty nice place really... All in all. Just... 

Im not one who can nor is willing to stay up with the Jones'.. so to speak. Im not one who is up on the latest mcmmo perks of the rank and knows..or even cares how to take advantage of it. Maybe im just getting to be an old player or something. I dont have an 'in' with who says what in the place. I just.. go my own route, i guess. I gather resources, its my go-to for stress relief, i suppose. Im no wizard with knowing what everything is worth... Kind of wish i did... What prices to set... Or just why i should try. I just want a bit of space in which to put things so i can gather such and at pace..put them where others can get them. But mentally, its like im missing a duck....so they arnt all in a row..and i dont want to start until they are. But they never are. Not for me, at any rate. It also seems like i feel a need to talk to someone about all of this...someone whod understand.. but there is no person like that. Certainly not without bugging them to care about it when they have a ton of other issues of their very own, they are having to sort out.

 So i sit here..feeling like im on the edge of something i have never been able to reach. ..to reach understanding ANd why it should matter to me...but uh.. thats too deep to have words for. 

*Shifts the litter around a bit to change stance.* (Soap-box/ litterbox for a cat.)

Ok.... Ahhem .. my issue is.. specifically, that im not savvy enough to be up on all the perks and particulars of.. not of minecraft, but of the server im on. 

Part of me resists,.  Because knowing all this new stuff ties me into this server world in special. Ill get dependent...like i might already be.  Part of me is scared. Thinking i wont be happy being here anymore.. but cant swing away without tearing things..like friendship, apart. And i dont make friends easily as it is. To the point i end up putting my words and concern on repeat...looking for a way to get them across that missing duck and into understanding... 

 

Ohh and here i am again..just sitting here. Bleh. Im cold. Going back to bed.

another abrupt change to living..

Yep...here we go again. Another move.. nowhere to go.

And a rant. Just how can someone be of any real sense in saying that the messilly hand written page is easier to transcribe onto a computer page than is a nicely typed page you can just cut n paste with? I just really really dont get that!!! I know, i know, what difference does it really make? But.. it does make a difference to me!! Maybe im just rediculously dumb about little stuff in that it drives me batty in not understanding just why its just not understandable to me. And here i am being thrown a "get over it!" (Which is rude, to say the least.) And having to grumble my way into self-imposed seclusion.

And..since i am makin the noise.... Dont ever assume that just because you have been talking about and wanting a special something..and its gotten, that its actually all yours. Dunno just why that feels a bit like someone is lording something over another...it just does.

Ok..atm..at the church...less privacy... Living all in one room, getting food from another... Crampt...and grumbly. Feeling at once ill-temperd today, and rather like crying.

Today, we got to see a possibility. Very interresting dynamics to the area. Could you live in an old cinderblock house with tin roofing under big ol trees waay out near a lake? The damp earthy smell of mugginess and shade throughout the heat of summer in nowheresville... An old hippie commune..trash to treasure...was there even a mailbox in the area? Trailers old old old  under tall thick trees, campers that have been there for years hidden behind better mobile homes . There was a friendly foor-footed sort, that came by to say hello, and welcome to the area.  And thats always a good sign.

...and just to say i said so,..yes, there is such a thing as useless bumbling and rambling on.... I engage in it regularly, it seems.

I need a new home. Someplace comfortable.. secure...safe... That isnt some elses home. I need a job im secure in. Something i can do...reliably.. that i dont need to compete too much in .. something others might find helpful.

And another gripe...example..you caught poison oak in a bad spot..not to say..all spots are bad when it comes to poison oak... And the person with the purse strings could..get you the drying agent you need to clear it up. Your misribles and uncomforable., So you ask them to plz plz pick ut a bit of that drying agent..along with a few other things you need..like toothpaste and bandaids..the person gets everything but the drying agent you need. You ask again..maybe they had issues finding any... Maybe it costs a lot... But after the third time of asking...first time you got a toothbrush...second time was the rest of what you asked for..but for the drying agent...but no..they didnt get that item because it was thought you wernt really in need of it. You tried to explain that it would dry the area and work toward healing and you wouldnt be so unhappy...but it had no real effect..you simply dont need it in the eyes of the one who held the means to making things a bit easier on you. Why? ...good question. And what can you really do about it? That poison itchy crap isnt about to go away without help. Ointment does little to no help if you are sweating and itchy. Just continues to spread aroundanother one of those things that happen and i just dont get it ..at all. Why would you want someone else to suffer when you could just get it cleared up, no real trouble at all?