gets out the litterbox...

Not feeling the greatest today. gots a few issues with a minecraft server i have been visiting the last year or so ago. Its a pretty nice place really... All in all. Just... 

Im not one who can nor is willing to stay up with the Jones'.. so to speak. Im not one who is up on the latest mcmmo perks of the rank and knows..or even cares how to take advantage of it. Maybe im just getting to be an old player or something. I dont have an 'in' with who says what in the place. I just.. go my own route, i guess. I gather resources, its my go-to for stress relief, i suppose. Im no wizard with knowing what everything is worth... Kind of wish i did... What prices to set... Or just why i should try. I just want a bit of space in which to put things so i can gather such and at pace..put them where others can get them. But mentally, its like im missing a duck....so they arnt all in a row..and i dont want to start until they are. But they never are. Not for me, at any rate. It also seems like i feel a need to talk to someone about all of this...someone whod understand.. but there is no person like that. Certainly not without bugging them to care about it when they have a ton of other issues of their very own, they are having to sort out.

 So i sit here..feeling like im on the edge of something i have never been able to reach. ..to reach understanding ANd why it should matter to me...but uh.. thats too deep to have words for. 

*Shifts the litter around a bit to change stance.* (Soap-box/ litterbox for a cat.)

Ok.... Ahhem .. my issue is.. specifically, that im not savvy enough to be up on all the perks and particulars of.. not of minecraft, but of the server im on. 

Part of me resists,.  Because knowing all this new stuff ties me into this server world in special. Ill get dependent...like i might already be.  Part of me is scared. Thinking i wont be happy being here anymore.. but cant swing away without tearing things..like friendship, apart. And i dont make friends easily as it is. To the point i end up putting my words and concern on repeat...looking for a way to get them across that missing duck and into understanding... 

 

Ohh and here i am again..just sitting here. Bleh. Im cold. Going back to bed.