Another Time Around the Wheel

Here is a song a friend turned me onto.. somehow it seems to work with me right now. The second one was in theme to the title of this posting.

How To Save A Life
by The Fray

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life

The Potter's Wheel
Words by Bill Danoff, Sung by J. Denver

The world is fast becoming younger
The news is all theyve ever known
Theyve seen the wars, the hurt, the hunger
How will they choose when they are grown

What do you tell forevers children
When its their turn to hurt and heal
Whatever spins a grim tornedo
Can also turn a potters wheel

Take a little clay
Put it on a wheel
Get a little hint
How God must feel

Give a little turn
Listen to a spin
Make it into the shape
You want it in

Tell with your life the bloody story
Teach to theyre dreams not burning steel
Its not in bombs where lies the glory
But in whats shattered on the field

The potters wheel takes love and caring
Skill and patience fast and slow
The works it makes are easily broken
Once they survive the potters throw

Take a little clay
Put it on a wheel
Get a little hint
How God must feel

Give a little turn
Listen to a spin
Make it into the shape
You want it in

Some day some children will be digging
In some long forgotten ground
And theyll find our civilisation
Or whats left of it to be found

Theyll find the weapons of destruction
But buried deeper in the hole
Theyll find a message and a promise
In the sand, the potters bowl

Take a little clay
Put it on a wheel
Get a little hint
How God must feel

Give a little turn
Listen to a spin
Make it into the shape
You want it in

Earth and fire and wind conspire
With human hands, and love, and fire

Take a little clay
Put it on a wheel
Get a little hint
How God must feel

Lower then Low

Not a good evening for me today. Feeling low.. a little betrayed/disappointed.. a bit tearful and lost, I think.

My efforts to make a bit of fun for someone.. along with others, which has managed to stretch over almost a week now.. involving lots of planning, chatting, and extending to get it all to working after a fashion with everyone, has completely broken down and crashed into tiny splinters at my feet. All with no real hope for recovery.

So here I sit, pondering... not only why it all had to crash just when it did, but why I even truly made all the effort in the first place.. it's just over the stupid internet, right? And then there's the confusion.. exactly why does it seem to hurt so much?!

Well. -sigh- hopefully I will get over the horrible shock of it all and get on with other things sometime soon. I can't stand feeling like this. I'm sure I'll post again at another time. TTFN

*smirks at her own slapped red hand.*
so much for that idea, huh?

Take two, they are small.. but Significant

This is for a potential friend in something of a low unhappy funk.

I know you don't want to hear it, you probibly think you dont need anything at all. but It's nice to somehow to know the offer is there. At least it was to me.

You do have a friend in me if you want or need it. I can make a fairly nice sounding board for whatever you feel the need to share. (as long as I understand first that the sounding-out isn't about me.) or even just as a shoulder to lean on, or to hang around with. Even if it is only 'virtual.'

All I ask is that you remember.. in order to make a good friend, you must first be one. My hand is out there for you to take... but you still need to actually take it.

You Never Know
Author Unknown

You never know when someone
May catch a dream from you.
You never know when a little word,
Or something you may do
May open up a window
Of the mind that seeks the light
The way you live may not matter at all...
But you never know - it might.

And just in case it could be
That another's life through you.
Might possibly change for the better
With a broader brighter view.
It seems it might be worth a try
At pointing the way to the right.
Of course, it may not matter at all,
But then again it might.

The Greatest Pain In Life

The greatest pain in life
is not to die,
but to be ignored.
To lose the person you love so much
to another who doesn't care at all.
To have someone you care so about so much throw a party...
and not tell you about it.
When your favorite person on earth
neglects to invite you to his graduation.
To have people think that you don't care.

The greatest pain in life,
is not to die,
but to be forgotten.
To be left in the dust after another's great achievement.
To never get a call from a friend,
just saying "hi".
When you show someone your innermost thoughts
and they laugh in your face.
For friends to always be
too busy to console you
when you need someone to lift your spirits.
When it seems like the only person who cares about you,
is you.

Life is full of pain,
but does it ever get better?
Will people ever care about each other,
and make time for those who are in need?
Each of us has a part to play
in this great show we call life.
Each of us has a duty to mankind
to tell our friends we love them.
If you do not care about your friends
you will not be punished.
You will simply be ignored...
forgotten...
as you have done to others.

It was said, that this poem had been writen by a young girl who commited suicide. It speaks of a lot of sadness and lonelyness, doesnt it? Would anything have turned out differently for her if someone had given her a bit of unconditional love, care, and attention?
Just as a smile, given to someone you pass by on the street, might make thier whole day a bit nicer... so too, having friendship.. -a real friendship-, friends who care somthing about eachother, could make all the difference in the world to someone in silent need... just as the author of this poem was.

I had an internet friend commit very real suicide one day when I was saddly stuck offline right about this time of the year. He ment a great deal to me, perhaps, more then even I realized. We would often play Starcraft together with another friend. Since he has gone, I have lost much of my taste in this game I once loved beyond all others. I cannot even seem to do much more then look at it on occation, even now. In one way, I feel a bit guilty, perhaps if I had been able to be there when he most... when he -had- to speak with someone. Perhaps if we had been closer friends somehow... perhaps.. perhaps... I don't know what the answers might be. I do feel he is truely gone though. and it has once again, reminded me just how important friendship can really be.

None of us are truely alone. Someone somewhere really -does- care something about you in this world. It is a selflessly offered sort of love and honest concern for who you really are. It is not unhealthy, or for pretend or even simply 'convenient'. and it can be found.. even across this wide web.
Be thankful for that which you have in your life. the good things, and the things that made you grow. Where would you be now if you didn't have them, things like family, friends, and hot shower water?
Be thankful for your friends and smile a little bit. life really isn't as bad as you might think. Truely, I have been there.. and am constantly revisiting, it seems. If nothing else, take this as a piece of wisdom from me to you. Think on it a bit. It really is important.


"Don't go, Because you have been down there before, Neo. You know that road...and you know exactly where it ends." Trinity in The Matrix

"Cause I been there, done that, learned what I should know,
Got the footprints on my T-shirt, got the bruises I can show."
Echo's Children/Cat Faber

"In every life we have some trouble
But when you worry, you make it double
Don't worry, be happy"
Bobby McFerrin

Another run-by Posting

Not much of a day to speak of today. I have been suffering tech issues a fair bit, think I might have to redo everything that has been done up to this point and start over. So I bided my time playing cards-capture and generally being lazy.

I also checked in on a friend in the world of RScape. she seemed rather bored with all the back and forth across the cattleyard that she was having to do. well, hopefully it got her a bit closer to her goals. She's hoping to become a proficient crafter, which will be a good thing if she can just get her skill high enough.

Anyway.. Here's another song or two for ya. For some reason, these songs bring back such memories. hmm

Smokey Mountain Rain
by Ronnie Milsap

I thumbed my way from LA back to Knoxville
I found out those bright lights aint where I belong
From a phone booth in the rain I called to tell her
I've had a change of dreams I'm comin' home
But tears filled my eyes when I found out she was gone

Smokey Mountain rain keeps on fallin'
I keep on callin' her name
Smokey Mountain rain I'll keep on searchin'
I can't go on hurtin' this way
She's somewhere in the Smokey Mountain rain

I waved a diesel down outside a cafe'
He said that he was goin' as far as Gatlinburg
I climbed up in the cab all wet and cold and lonely
I wiped my eyes and told him about her
I've got to find her!
Can you make these big wheels burn?

Smokey Mountain rain keeps on fallin'
I keep on callin' her name
Smokey Mountain rain I'll keep on searchin'
I can't go on hurtin' this way
She's somewhere in the Smokey Mountain rain

I can't blame her for lettin' go
A woman needs someone warm to hold
I feel the rain runnin' down my face
I'll find her no matter what it takes!

Smokey Mountain rain keeps on fallin'
I keep on callin' her name
Smokey Mountain rain I'll keep on searchin'
I can't go on hurtin' this way
She's somewhere in the Smokey Mountain rain


Wildfire
by Michael Martin Murphey

She comes down from Yellow Mountain
On a dark, flat land she rides
On a pony she named Wildfire
With a whirlwind by her side
On a cold Nebraska night

Oh, they say she died one winter
When there came a killing frost
And the pony she named Wildfire
Busted down its stall
In a blizzard he was lost

She ran calling Wildfire

By the dark of the moon I planted
But there came an early snow
There's been a hoot-owl howling by my window now
For six nights in a row
She's coming for me, I know
And on Wildfire we're both gonna go

We'll be riding Wildfire

On Wildfire we're gonna ride
Gonna leave sodbustin' behind
Get these hard times right on out of our minds
Riding Wildfire

Blehhhh.. :(

Not a good day for yours truely. I got badly surprised by an inconsiderate oaf today, got into an argument because of it and found out the oaf hurt the sounding board's ears. So tomarrow, unwillingly, I get to make up for it by spending what I think will be a major portion of the day, at said board's place twiddling thumbs, trying -really- hard not to bite anyones head off and making me out to be terrible company, which I know I am already. Why me, I wonder. Well, the answer is simple enough.. if I don't do so, who will? Certainly not the unfeeling uncaring idiot who couldn't seem to care a whim for other peoples feelings, opinions, thoughts, or anything other then his own. So like I said.. not a good day for me at all. Time for a bit of good old fashioned excapism. right?

ok. so.. hm.. I got another note from this friend of mine I call ms J. ms J lives in this rather funny realm. I got to visit it once, it's a big place, mush like mine. and walking or sometimes running is the primary mode of progress there. When Ms J started out, she was a fisher of fish..and then got into mining. poor her. Thats serious back-breaking work! Somehow she survived it though..enough to be able to pick up the smelting and crafting of jewelry. It says in the letter, that she just crafted her first enchanted amulet! good for her! *reads on a bit* Says she also picked up a reasonable boyfriend. He doesn't demand she go fight tagteam with him like so many others seem to. That's certainly a good thing. rather, he's attentive and friendly.. so Now, she says, she can safely and truthfully tell all the guys following her about whining, to take a hike. lol! She would like to pick up farming.. but has to wait on that a bit longer. hmm.

Answered Quiz

Got these questions From Texas Trifles.. I took Patty's words, "Duck duck goose, I pick YOU..." seriously. hehe :) Try it yourself.
___________

Four Jobs I’ve Held:
Babysitting (blehhk), kitchen go-for, bean picker, and housekeeping.

Four Films I Could Watch Over and Over:
The Three Musketeers, Cats The Musical, Under Seige, and 10th Kingdom!

Four TV Shows I Watch:
(don't watch much tv.. but if I did...) Star trek(+), Naruto, InuYasha, and Murder She Wrote (yeah, I know, it's all reruns now).

Four Places I’ve Lived:
Michigan, Oregon, California, and New Mexico

Four Favorite Foods:
Hot Homemade Bread, Fresh Blueberries, Baked Ham, and Steamed Cabbage. (ok, so I'm wierd.)

Four Websites I Visit Daily:
Rainy Days Blog, Texas Trifles, Neopets, and Google.

Four Favorite Colors:
Royal Blue, Dark Purple, Forest Green, and umm ?

Four Names You Love, But Could/Would Not Use for Your Children:
Alfred, Jazreal, Beau, and Jon

A Brand New World

I have gotten another letter from a friend of mine, ms M, who is living in this sweet little village. She has been on total love with this guy for years now and is finally getting some like return in feelings. I'm so happy for her! It seems they have had their own share of problems of late. One of her friends, mr J, got together with a girl, ms K, who had been traveling about the countryside as far back as she could remember. As it turned out, ms K is wanted by another country's people for some rather horrible crimes.. quite likely trumped up one's at that. Then there came this fellow.., mr M, who at first seemed only interrested in ms K, said he was hired by the other country to bring her back. but then divided his focus to that of ms M and her boyfriend, mr K. He simply will not leave them alone! They are sure this has somehow to do with mr K's father, since the man had mentioned his father's rather famous nickname. They have not had any true contact with this rather irritating man since they were last out making sure there were no enemy forces camping in their country's land. Maybe the cooling autumn weather has dulled the threat a little? or perhaps mr M has finally given up and gone back home? it can only be hoped.
Personally, I think along the same lines as ms M. This strange man, mr M, needs to be sat-down and spoken with. He's clearly in some confusion as to which side has the right of it and needs some straightening out.. and soon before this goes too far for all of them!

What? Where?...huh?

A rather scattered week is what it seems to be for me so far. I feel really rather lost with it all. Too many things going on around me.

Rather then give a run-down with all that.. I think I'll give a couple of snapshots of a past time. Lessee... I remember a time, somewhere in the dim fog of a much younger age... Lol! The time I lived in a haunted house with my father and sister. We were renting it in exchange for repairs, I think. anyway. the ghost 'resided' in a little room partitioned off from the rest of the house by a low banister, in the back of the house. as my dad got the only normal bedroom in the house, it was up to my sister and I to figure ourselves out for sleeping. neither of us would dare sleep in that little room. the, who/whatever it was, was not the best of housemates one could wish for. regardless of all that... I remember putting on a puppet show on the porch for no-one.. hows that for a highlight? *grin* I remember...climbing a tree and dreaming of a treehouse. ..of playing with bugs and the many ant-lions that inhabited the unused driveway. ..of a big bush next to a tire-swing that I could never get the hang of swinging on. ..of a bamboo stand I used to loooove to play in. ...of becoming horribly upset over a babysitting job that took the whole rest of my evening with several unruely boys, only to find out that one was still in diapers and having no means to change him.. having no place to lay them down.. no meal to give them.. and having the parents show up at 3am. (I remember swearing off babysitting from that point onward too.) ..of a time I learned that large milk jars, even if they are full of water, are not free from bursting when put over flame. ..of having to clean up the result from said 'tea' experiment because no-one else would. ..of running away from a school officer who had come around back to see if he could better figure why I was playing absent from school. (I started my rebel phase of life rather early. lol)

Just Because...

For no particular reason, I thought the idea of having a mood smiley put in with my posts. Not that I post everyday, mind you.. lol! So here's my mood at the moment.

Musical Mayhem

Everytime We Touch
by Cascada

still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me.
I still feel your touch in my dreams.
Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why
Without you it's hard to survive.

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling.
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly.
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
Need you by my side.
'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static.
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky.
Can't you hear my heart beat so...
I can't let you go.
Want you in my life.

Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky.
They wipe away tears that I cry.

The good and the bad times, we've been through them all.
You make me rise when I fall.

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling.
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly.
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
Need you by my side.
'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static.
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky.
Can't you hear my heart beat so...
I can't let you go.
Want you in my life.

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling.
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly.
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
Need you by my side.

Accidentally In Love
by Counting Crows

So she said what's the problem baby
What's the problem I don't know
Well maybe I'm in love (love)
Think about it every time
I think about it
Can't stop thinking 'bout it

How much longer will it take to cure this
Just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's love (love)
Makes me wanna turn around and face me but I don't know nothing 'bout love

Come on, come on
Turn a little faster
Come on, come on
The world will follow after
Come on, come on
Cause everybody's after love

So I said I'm a snowball running
Running down into the spring that's coming all this love
Melting under blue skies
Belting out sunlight
Shimmering love

Well baby I surrender
To the strawberry ice cream
Never ever end of all this love
Well I didn't mean to do it
But there's no escaping your love

These lines of lightning
Mean we're never alone,
Never alone, no, no

We're accidentally in love
Accidentally in love

Come on, come on
Spin a little tighter
Come on, come on
And the world's a little brighter
Come on, come on
Just get yourself inside her

Love ...I'm in love