old worn out shirt n shoes...king of the road

Today or tomorrow is another moving day... Someone has givin us a roof.. just need to put it in place and hope its not going to be a baking tin in our wonderful 100 degree southern summer weather. Once more consoliding a storage room for another better year of nonuse. Cant think about just how many mistakes i have made just in the last little while...with no portals anywhere in sight. And no way to really get there even if i could find one.

Had a troubled dream last night of chewing out the past. So angry i was practicly screaming. I was face down and breathing hard into my pillow.

(Truely, i cant breathe pillow!) 

I hope this proves to be a better, low overhead from which to restart from. I hope i can settle in from there and get back to trying to make things better...i tire of all of this uncertainty!

Im getting the idea that the closer i am, the more horrible the mistakes. That really cant be true though.. i make those horrendous mistakes no matter what.

This country has gone mad..maybe ive started to go mad alongside it. .. but wholey for my own nonreasons.

Yepyep... still here.

Happy 1st of the end of the year. 

its December. almost hard to believe its going on a year..2022. This blog has been squeaking along since 2005 at its usual pokey pace. amazing. 

Feeling strangely idle this morning, thus far..like I need another new hobby or something. maybe revisited in homedge to the past. (grin) like old games or something. like ...

old Diablo. the content was adventursome, i suppose.. but it was my first game with such detailed graphics as it had. or like 

"the zoombinies".. for which you needed to use yer thinking cap for. or really old games, 

like "wizardry!" where my party, with ample imagination, such as I have, developed their own conversations and personalities, like indy the flatnose (forever running into walls) or Synshae the wanna be.. Bishop! or online games, such was 

Everquest2 and ol Ratakin and his "by the seat of yer pants" aproach to living in a treed Fairy town. (that he was forever falling out of), 

Asherone's Call, whose graphics was 'really dated', but where My character Indy) yeas, her again) developed a server-wide reputation for most deaths, thought she could fly but couldnt, and whom had a -total fear of the little pixies-. (especially those black one's who were just pure evil. or maybe the popular 

Warcraft, with the minotaurs, the blue aliens, and the amazing lands of the panda! Or a revisit to still relevent 

Mabinogi.. whose story is packed with adventure, storylines, and fun times with friends, life skills, fighting skills, and new costumes for your character to parade around in... lookin so smart! or maybe 'newer' games, like 

"Rimworld", who isnt big on the graphics part of it, But! is jam-packed with appeasement of the 'sims' end of gaming. watching the drama unfold around your lil colonists. so fun! ...no I'm not joking! Rimworld is fun!. its like a poorman's sims game with adventure and learning new things all mixed in for your characters. or 

"Timberborn", a building game, whose townships are run by Beavers. or maybe the latest in cool games I enjoy, like 

"cat goes fishing." which is.. exactly as its name implies. somehow it manages to be simple and entertaining as well, to me. a total gem of a game. And theres Always 

Minecraft, who just updated to expanded 1.18... its a whole bigger world! taller, mountains, snowier snow, Goats! and deeper caves, more minerals, danger, and Axelotls! and a shout-out to the hermits for their seasons creation and upbeat versions of life and times in the world of Minecraft, keeps me ever-happilly waiting for the next episode on youtube. Ty Impulse, Cubfan, Scar, Pearl, Mumbo, and FalseSymetry! you and the whole rest of the gang are tops!

Remembered Bellyaching & Pesimism thats part of my nature..

you think you got it bad....

I just lllurrve getting ill before a fun time. (sarcasm included for free)
That has happened for like three years in a row now, and its still counting.
and i dont mean one of those annoying got-the-sniffles colds.. i mean the-sky-is-falling-over, kick-em-while-thier-down kind of illnesses... just before a major holiday.

last year,.. no, the year before that, someone close to me got angry with me, cuz she thought i was making it up. i felt death-at-the-door ill, the day before christmas. turned out to be a knock-me-over sicksick, complete with a tooth abscess all rolled into one.
three teeth abscessed that time.. got all three teeth pulled.(getting three teeth pulled in one area, at the same time, is something major to me, i dont have that many teeth to start with.)

(in my family, teeth are most certainly not a strength)

both momma and dad had falsies.
additionally, mom had hearing issues (thanks mom) and the great mugwumpus had hip issues (thanks dad) plus.. a cancerball was rolling about(ty gpa n gma) and major heart issues were/are a big thing. (ty gpapa)

this last year, i got sick.. horrible cold, i think, and my beloved meow died. great time to be alive.. or not. so far, my special seasonal time 'off' has been batting 104%

wooowy, what a life!

Writing gots and not gots

Once upon a time...  What a way to start... There was a writer called peaches.. She was great with intros and short story starts.. But her attention wavered into the boredom zone fairly quickly and she never quite completed anything significant.. She came close though..once. With a simple illustrated book.

Her proudest moment came with the invention of notebook wars between her and good friends.. During which many a page was filled during a most satisfying year or so.

Then disaster struck her life and she found herself living too far away from the friends she valued.. (More than she realized at the time, i assure you.) And feeling alieniated due to an intrusion of several judging eyes into her -in the moment- most private thoughts.. That really none could hope to truely understand (not even her... 10 mins after she thought it)... And she was horribly scarred by the incident for years. Still.. And perhaps none-the-less... She loved to write. At first, she thought to be a whole lot more careful.. Mindful even, of her deep smarting scars and how others can so easilly misunderstand.

She first tried starting a writing group but it was laid low by a lack of interrest. Still.. With it in mind.. She started a "semi-guided" writing group online.. Thinking if she just.. Started off with background and a set-in-wool idea.. It could be fun.. There was some interrest and a senario was started.. Establishing the parameters a bit more firmly, she thought.
It was to be a survival theme.. With the cats musical as a base background ... The characters would be people portaled in by an unknown force.. And transformed into humaniod cats. The setting was a forest.. Much like a real life enviroment. Only.. No tech.. And no people in the area. The cats first story start was a hungry encounter with a huge boar... then they successfully had food.. .. And then something went wonky with the sudden arival of high fantasy and the whole group quickly disintegrated. Thinking it was likely due to her own poor explainations..perhaps not being clear enough.. She wandered the net for a time.. Looking for another group she could perhaps fit into.  Around in that same time frame.. She found first.. A group of writers basing thier world off a game. It was great fun for quite some time.. Before the writers headed off for fairer skies.. She tried nearly in vain to keep in touch with several of them... And she found another group in unlikely waters.. Basing thier world off of an anime ninja theme.. With a scattering of cannon characters. That too was great fun but seemed a dying breed really. When it desolved, peaches was once again on her own. And speaking of dying breeds, She was also at one distant past moment.. in a text world.. Lending her talents of description to its configuration... Perhapes the most fun shed ever had.. Making room descriptions so beautifully detailed.. It took a slloow walk through to really get the story woven into it..room by room... Although you didnt have to read everything.. You could just rush on through. As many would. There were, however, many hidden objects you were sure to miss if you didnt. And then.. The fun was spoiled by internal politics and an ex- friend who went on a power glut.
Just as well though.. As the text worlds were a truely dying thing and now.. Its more nostalja then it is a living fantasy world anymore.

A closed chapter later and presto! Here i am with my own blog.. For the same "no reason," reasons to exist as it was when it was started so many years ago. Just lil ol me chanting dustbunny rhythms into the general void of the net as usual.

And looking out the window from my little niche in this void.. I can see what seems to be the world around the anchor in chaos. Peoples seems to have gone a little more insane this year then ever was before.

There is a rather colourful character that has somehow managed to not only ticc everyone off at least once but also has managed to squeeze into a top dawg status. Guess if so many sought changes from what was before.. They did get thier wish.. For good or ill. I wonder whatll happen next.... Hmm..

Reciently, theres a dark side and a light side.. Who came to blows on the street.. The top dawg said both sides were at fault.. And i agree.. It takes at least two sides with opposing views to make for an argument. one side then stretched into the realm of intolerance and suddenly the whole area is scrambling in efforts to not be associated.

One can hear the cracking of glass from where I stand... Sounding like thunder as the words scrawl themselves across the wall and formed peices of beautiful art in stone is being toppled and trampled upon.

Be aware.. And Beware of complaining about the splinter you see in others eyes.. When theres a log in your own. I should know. Ive kept warm through many a winter from the descovery of those flippin logs! Aint no wonder i have bad sight!

Anyway.. For all the past mistakes of another lifetime.. If i complained and railed against the losses i saw coming, I apologize. All i can really do. .. So I go from here.. Learning as i go along. Even as yet into another chapter.. To go through yet another portal.. And hopfully.. Descover more fun times to be had in the future.