Nother anime/manga ...

Skip Beat


Ren Tsuruga

A shōujo manga with a first season listed in anime.
Story of a rather idealistic young girl being given a rude awakening by a childhood friend with his sights set on topping the music charts. In an effort to gain revenge, she gets signed up with a rival agency to become an actress.

__________

Toradora


Ryūji and Tiaga

The plot is a bit like Lovely Complex, which I saw first. its another "highschool" shōujo story about two mismatched students who decide to help one another gain their respective love interest's attention... only to discover they loved eachother best.
__________

Code Geass


Lelouch

Great series.. with a rather sad ending. This one is about a group of school students caught up in the struggle of superpowers and self-identity.. as well as those who possess the power of Kings and its widespread influence upon people.
All in all, its a bit like the tale of V. I'd watch this one again. Zero FTW!

bah!

"So this is Christmas, and what have you done
Another year over, and a new one just begun
And so this is Christmas, I hope you have fun
The near and the dear one, the old and the young"
-John Lennon

The Christmas season is upon us all once again, and I feel none of its glow. not even a glimmer really of supposedly happy anticipation for opening gifts on Christmas day (or eve, if that's how you do it) for seeing relatives you haven't seen in a long time, over great feasts, joyful chatting and game playing. I feel not a single iota and I wonder to myself just how long things have been thus for me, to struggle to find so much as a smile and having to 'fake joy' for others to see so they don't demand to know what could be wrong. I guess I can rather identify with scrooge's state of mind this year. I'm sure its all of this dreading and waiting getting to me.

"What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer; a time for balancing your books and having every item in 'em through a round dozen of months presented dead against you?" -A Christmas carol

well here it is... and then some.

just for informations sake.. the guy I mentioned battling with a few posts back or so.. has ended. I felt forced into making a decision really. I feel I was given an ultimatum. and as we -all- know, those -never- go well. I could either be happy with his continued treatment of me... or I could walk away. I honestly didn't want to do it... nor could I continue with the way things were. And even after it was done.. he still had opportunity to get in touch with me.. to work it out.. if he cared enough to give it a try... even for friendships sake. Obviously I wasn't worth the effort to him any longer. A part of me hopes he enjoys his new love.. and part of me hopes she is smart enough to realize he is trying to pull her away from her own bf with his charm... and kicks him to the floor of realization.

My own life has gotten hectic. I am due to have moved in another week or so. I still don't want to have to.. and I still have no other recourse. So if I become.. well.. really scarce online over the next.. ohh idunno year?! sorry.. at least youl know where I got to. For those of my friends who perhaps consider me worthy enough to continue to know, email me once in awhile. k? I will find the time and space for at least that.


oh.. and Merry Christmas.

another update

My apologize for being fairly uncharacteristic of late. My life is going through a bit of turmoil this holiday season. Funny how this kind of thing seems to happen around this time every year...hmm.. sensing a pattern here. Well, in spite of such insanity, I still am most thankful for my friends, for without such valuable friends, it all would seem so much more overwhelming and devastating to me.

Tars, krunch, wolf, green, mesh, mousey, darks, hina, fram, kori, molly, mork, dawn, Ros, masu, and a ton of new friends on fbook lol! Thanks you all for being such wonderful friends of mine!

Merry Christmas Yall!

Giving Thanks

Things I am thankful for.

God, the great spirit that created all of this.
hot running water and the clouds in the sky.
the caring of a good solid friendship.
being able to see mountain vistas as well as the high-rises of big cities and the expanse of working farmlands of the country.
being able to hear bird song as well as all the different styles and expressions of music in the world!
fuzzy kitties and graceful strong horses.
family, both the good and the not-so-good.
Being able to learn from mistakes.

Couldn't hope to be able to post everything.

Hope you have a wonderful thanksgiving weekend!

How Far

How Far
by Martina Mcbride

There's a boat, I could sail away
There's the sky, I could catch a plane
There's a train, there's the tracks
I could leave and I could choose to not come back
Oh never come back

There you are, giving up the fight
Here I am begging you to try
Talk to me, let me in
But you just put your wall back up again
Oh when's it gonna end

[Chorus:]
How far do I have to go to make you understand
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are
So I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say ..how far

There's a chance I could change my mind
But I won't, not till you decide
What you want, what you need
Do you even care if I stay or leave
Oh, what's it gonna be

[Chorus]

Out of this chair, or just across the room
Halfway down the block or halfway to the moon

How far do I have to go to make you understand
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are
So I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say
YeahI'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say ..how far

Pomplawha?

Hail Mary
by Pomplamoose



Mister Sandman
by The Chordettes
Sung by Pomplamoose
--------------


'So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.'
Matthew 7:12

What I'd like to know is, what happens should they do unto you in ways you would rather they not, even after all you have done unto them? Does karma eventually run over their dog or something?
--------------


Listening to:
see above
Reading: A Christmas Carol
Current Show: 'Vampire Diaries' and 'The Guild'
Feeling: sorrowful and pissed
Internet Tabs: Runes of Magic
Obsessing Over: realization of heartbreak and moving woes.
Current Rant: too many to want to type them all out.

A Carol of Advice

""Our contract is an old one. It was made when we were both poor and content to be so, until, in good season, we could improve our worldly fortune by our patient industry. You are changed. When it was made, you were another man."

"I was a boy," he said impatiently.

"Your own feeling tells you that you were not what you are," she returned. "I am. That which promised happiness when we were one in heart, is fraught with misery now that we are two. How often and how keenly I have thought of this, I will not say. It is enough that I have thought of it, and can release you."

"Have I ever sought release?"

"In words? No. Never."

"In what, then?"

"In a changed nature; in an altered spirit; in another atmosphere of life; another Hope as its great end. In everything that made my love of any worth or value in your sight. If this had never been between us," said the girl, looking mildly, but with steadiness, upon him; "tell me, would you seek me out and try to win me now? Ah, no!"

He seemed to yield to the justice of this supposition, in spite of himself. But he said with a struggle," You think not?"

"I would gladly think otherwise if I could," she answered, "Heaven knows. When I have learned a Truth like this, I know how strong and irresistible it must be. But if you were free to-day, to-morrow, yesterday, can even I believe that you would choose a dowerless girl -- you who, in your very confidence with her, weigh everything by Gain: or, choosing her, if for a moment you were false enough to your one guiding principle to do so, do I not know that your repentance and regret would surely follow? I do; and I release you. With a full heart, for the love of him you once were."

He was about to speak; but with her head turned from him, she resumed.

"You may -- the memory of what is past half makes me hope you will -- have pain in this. A very, very brief time, and you will dismiss the recollection of it, gladly, as an unprofitable dream, from which it happened well that you awoke. May you be happy in the life you have chosen.""

A Christmas Carol
by Charles Dickens
------------------


""...you must take the time to see your partner's soul and feel safe enough to reveal your own soul. For this feeling of safety to occur, you must trust your partner's integrity. Take the time to find out if your partner values embracing empathy, listening, direct communication, honesty, loyalty and growth. After all, a guy's character will always be the determinant behind his choosing to be naughty or nice — thereby making you feel sad or happy.

Think about all those fabulous Prince Charmings in fairy tales. What makes a Prince Charming truly "Princely"? Prince Charmings are made of good strong character. They're noble, kind and generous with good deeds. Plus, they support a Princess in becoming liberated, so she can venture forth to become her fullest royal potential.

Meanwhile, evil Prince Harmings are just as good-looking, rich and charismatic as Prince Charmings. A Prince Harming's huge difference is the one spotted within his spotty character. Prince Harmings suffer from major character defects which create scenarios to torture and imprison a Princess.

Meaning? Although you might feel as if you're experiencing love at first sight with a Prince Harming, what you're really experiencing is infatuation at first sight — because all you're simply crushing on is this man's superficial self, not his superinsidehim self.

All of this leads me to a very important question: Do you really prefer to place a higher value on a guy's superficial aspects (his sexiness, funniness, smartness, wealthiness) more than you value his superinsidehim self (his character, his soul)?

If so, then there is a big danger you will wind up involved with a guy who's rude, angry, dishonest, disloyal, hurtful, non-communicative, unempathic and selfish! As a result, all of his inner bad qualities will make you feel unhappy, insecure, unsafe, frazzled, neurotic and totally crazy. Your love life should not be your suffering life. The number one reason to spend time with a guy is that he makes you feel happier and he is improving your life.""


The Number One Thing to Look for in a Partner
By Karen Salmansohn

oo.. do I hear strains of oldguy dance music for 6flags? How fun!

I miss you
by Basshunter



Angel in the Night
by Basshunter



Boten Anna
by Basshunter
-------------


Life goes ever onward. This week so far has been one of waiting. much like the feeling a little kid gets when his mom says "Just you wait until your father gets home!" Its like a foreboding feeling that sends shivers of agony racing up and down my spine all day long.

Still, I have learned a little something about myself over the last day or so.

People really need to stop reading into my 'just curious' questions. Honestly, they are just as I say they are, curiosity. Thats it. I'm not trying to convey anything hidden deeper... no supreme moodiness or dark intent. k? It's one of the main reasons my sense of curiosity gets me into trouble a lot.

And to go with that... when you say something to me, and I reply with a 'huh?'.. I am not asking you to repeat that very same thing over again. I said 'huh' because I either didn't hear you correctly, or I didn't get what you just said. Try explaining using different words. Just use a little of that English you know and restructure your sentence a bit. If you think on it a little.. there are several ways of saying the very same thing. Try a few.

Blastoff!

Ok, for those of you maybe interested in a nice portal space.. that gives room for yer news and vids etc.. plus has nice opportunities for online shopping... plus, and this is the best part... its totally free! Check it out *here*
oh.. it says those 13yrs and older can sign-up.. but I think it's actually 18.

****

Have you ever made one of those really bad.. and rather obvious puns in a conversation.. and it isn't something that can really be explained... and the person you said it to, gets angry? no.. not groaning, roll the eyes, kind of thing, but huffy, pissy, ticced-off! Just because you really are not in the mood to try explaining just why it's a pun. I mean.. even after you make some lame attempt at it, then try to dismiss it because the pun wasn't even worth the trying for. I just had one of those experiences.. and the person not only got huffy, but stomped off. What a horribly lame reason to pick a fight/tantrum over. I just don't get that.

The definition of a pun is:
A play on words, either on different senses of the same word or on the similar sense or sound of different words.
A pun is a play on words, often humorous, that uses words that have similar or identical sounds but very different meanings.
The use of a word, or of words which are formed or sounded alike, in such a way as to juxtapose, connect, or bring out two or more of the possible applications of the word or words, usually in a humorous way; a play on words


Kind of like, if someone should ask you "what is up?".. and you reply with your height, the ceiling, clouds etc. because all of those things are 'up' from your perspective. using the same question, you could also say you are not, if you are sitting down.

****

Which is the most feared of the forest inhabitants?
A hawk claimed that, because he had the ability to fly, he could attack anything from above, and his prey wouldn't have a prayer.
"Due to my strength, no one would challenge me!" said the lion, pride fully.
The skunk, incensed, said, "I need neither flight nor might to frighten off any creature!"
The trio were debating the issue, when a grizzly bear came along and swallowed all,
HAWK, LION, and STINKER.

-----

Why I flunked English

Let's face it: English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England nor french fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? =20

In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another? When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on. When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it? Now I know why I flunked English. It's not my fault-the silly language doesn't quite know whether it's coming or going.

I'm only me when I'm with you
--Taylor Swift

Video found Here

I had read Taylor Swift's little self-blurb on the video site linked above. In it she says she still believes Prince Charming is out there somewhere. It kind of reminded me of something someone said to me one time.. it went something along the lines of wondering if I liked the idea of princes and princess maybe I would like a tiara. I replied that I didn't know as I had never tried one on before. It's a rather interesting thought tho. no, I'm not into tiara's and royalty trappings. (but for maybe the royal purple color, which I love!) Still.. I do like the many 'happy ever-after' type stories. You might say I even prefer them over the the many disaster and horror fliks gracing the big screen of late. so.. maybe in a way.. I do hold hope of a 'prince charming' somewhere in the world. Even after all of the pain and hurt of love and loss which seems to plague my life.

Oh and seriously, if you have not seen the Princess Bride. you really really should. Look for a link to it *here* to see if its working on youtube. It's an epic fantasy story.

blargh!

It'd almost make a good book if i wasn't so wrapped up in it. 2 people meet online, get to know one another a little. Really enjoy eachothers company. then seemingly out of no-where... there is a battle... it's been taken too far, too quickly... they bounce off of one another in a bad way.. things are said.. hurt is delivered... cant go back. can't take it back. and its done. Now scarcely friends.

Maybe it doesn't matter anymore.. but it still hurts. Maybe I should just forget the pain.. But I don't think I can. Maybe we can't rewind the time.. but I want to.

White Horse

You Belong With Me
by Taylor Swift


White Horse
by Taylor Swift

ok

a confession and a story...

ok, see, there's this guy I like.. and he seems to like me too, only of late.. one day he heard a rumor.. about me, and it just wigged him out in a really bad way.. I got all defensive, he got defensive back.. and it kinda yanked us both off a cliff. then, in efforts to save what we still might have, I tried apologizing, hoping to open us up for more then 'idle chitchat' anymore.. We used to be able to talk so comfortably. and he said he had forgotten the hurt.. that there was nothing to really talk about.. and maybe I should forget the pain as well. I could no longer talk to him about any of it or risk 'misunderstanding' and his yelling fiercely at me before stomping off.
It has reminded me of a cat I once knew.. yeahh I hear you going wtf? but I think it relates..

There was this place I was staying at .. and this girl there had gotten a kitten one day. It was a cute little black thing with big ol eyes.. a very small puffball and cute as anything. But her bf, who was also staying there was anti-catbox. So they put the kitten outside.
Now, you have to understand the area this takes place in. It was rather countryish. At night, we had 4-footed visitors from all over the place. big marauding dogs, huge ol grumpy racoons, slinky and dangerous bobcats, aromatic skunk, and mountain lion that would come sniffing around for tasty midnight snacks.
so.. the girl put the cat up on a balcony of a shed near the house. she gave it food and water and left it there. I felt so badly for that poor little kitty... all alone in the dark and hostile area. It cried and cried and cried. all night long, each and every night that I would stay there.
As I didn't get along with the girl, her bf, and the other friends of theirs staying there, I often found excuse to sleep over at a friend of mine's place. Eventually, the friends of those two, (the girl and her bf) had made the news and the place was closed up for a time. After a few days, another friend came to take the animals away with them in a cross-country move.
I had opportunity to follow them to the new area a bit later and here is that kitty. looking skrawny and unkempt. It was fed, and eventually gained a little weight but.. idunno.. something was amiss with its mental state. We took to calling it skittykitty because it would be all purring and friendly one moment but it with turn faster then a rattlesnake and take to biting and hissing horribly if you got too close. Oh, you could reach out to touch it, pet, love and comfort.. and be nothing but as sensitive as possible, but something would quirk it.. some unseen, or unknown inside of it would put its tail in a twist. You'd pet it once, twice maybe.. and it would purrrrr. then stop and be chewing on your hand in a quarter second. What had caused it to go all wonky like that, I'm not sure. but it was most certainly not a comfortable type of cat to be around. Not if you valued your hands.


So now.. it feels there is this distance between this guy and me, that wasn't there before. I feel I am trying to pet the skittykitty in trying to talk to him... shivering inside, and thinking "any wrong move, no matter how small, and he's going to bite at me." and he has. Why is this happening? Why is he driving us apart with his sudden rattlesnake temper? Why can't he seem to see what its doing to us? Why can't we talk like we once did? Why has he become so.. impatient. distant. intolerant? Why has he become such a skittykitty to me? I don't know.
but I think my tears are about done now. My back is against the wall. Its time to put my raw feelings back into a box in a single-minded effort to cope. Maybe things can be salvaged, maybe not. We need to be able to talk.. to open our communication again and resolve the starting issues. but until he gains some patience.. and stops yowling and gnashing his teeth on my being.. we will go further and further toward the edge. I can see it. I don't know if that's what he truly wants or not. Its certainly not making me feel like being so close to him with my heart anytime soon though.

On another note... It seems my brother has had a 'visit' from my mom and bonbon... Ahh! that hurts! Why doesn't the pain at least lessen.. why does it have to reduce me to sobbing every single freaking time?! :( ....damn it! =.=;
Why does all of this have to happen now? why all at once? Why does it even have to happen at all?!!?! ugh! what a life! anyone care to trade? please?!

what is love?

Consider this....
(not in any particular order.)

1. Love is.. feeling like laughing with joy when you are around your partner.
2. love is.. supporting them when they could really use it.
3. love is.. never wanting to give up on them.
4. love is.. communication.
5. love is.. understanding.
6. love is.. saying your sorry for arguing... even if you aren't sorry for your side in it.
7. love is.. learning to put up with/overlook/tolerate some of their not so wonderful traits and habits.
8. love is.. caring.
9. love is.. a test of time and endurance.
10. love is.. forgiving.



True friendship is.. communication.
true friendship is.. saying your sorry for arguing, even if you aren't sorry for your side in it.
true friendship is.. supporting them when they really could use it.
true friendship is.. understanding.
true friendship is.. a test of time and endurance.
true friendship is.. learning to put up with/overlook/tolerate some of their.. not so wonderful traits and habits.
true friendship is.. caring.
true friendship is.. feeling like laughing with joy when you are around them.
true friendship is.. forgiving
true friendship is.. never wanting to give up on them.

Sorrow

Every Time I Hear Your Name
by Keith Anderson

Finally got over that song of ours; stopped chasin' little red sports cars,
To check the license plates and I quit drivin' by your place.
Back makin' the rounds at our old haunts: Honky Tonks, restaurants.
And seein' some of our old friends: it feels good to dance again.
And I can finally smell your perfume and not look around the room for you.
And I can walk right by your picture in a frame and not feel a thing.

But when I hear your name,
I feel rain fallin' right out of the blue sky.
And it's the fifth of May, and I'm right there starin' in your eyes.
And nothin's changed, and we're still same.
And I get lost in the innocence of a first kiss,
And I'm hangin' on to every word rollin' off of your lips:
And that's all it takes, and I'm in that place,
Every time I hear your name.

Got someone special in my life; everyone thinks she'll make a great wife.
Dad says he thinks she's the one; reminds him of Mom when she was young.
But it's way too soon to be talkin' 'bout rings; don't wanna rush into anything.
She's getting over someone too, kinda like me and you.
And she talks about him every once in a while, and I just nod my head and smile,
'cause I know exactly what she's goin' through; yeah, I've been there too.

And when the conversation turns to you,
I get caught in a "you were the only one for me",
Kinda thought, and your face is all that I see.
I know I can't go back but I still go back.
And there we are, parked down by the riverside,
And I'm in your arms about to make love for the first time,
And that's all it takes, and I'm in that place,
Every time I hear your name.

I stop thinkin' 'bout the words I left unsaid.
(Every time I hear your name.)
I stop tryin' the change the things I can't change.
(Every time I hear your name.)
In my heart I know you're gone, but in my head,

I feel rain fallin' right out of the blue sky.
And it's the fifth of May, and I'm right there starin' in your eyes.
That's all it takes, and I'm in that place.
And there we are, parked down by the riverside,
And I'm in your arms about to make love for the first time.
And I can't explain, but I'm in that place,
Every time I hear your name.

*******
This song seems to reflect my mood of late... A feeling I have lost something of vast importance to me.. that I wasnt sure I had in the first place.

Another vid

this one was well put together, I thought... even if it was a little flickery.


movie: Disney etc
song: Just Dance by Lady GaGa

and another one by the same author based on the movie Anastasia.


movie: Anastasia
song: Love Story by Taylor Swift

ok.. so...

Whattowrite-whattowrite?

My week.. weeks.. month.. months? have been rollercoasting me into something of a depression. So I'm not really sure what to think, much less to say. Rather like something I once heard someone gripe about, I have repeatedly found my feelings tied up in a complete knot over someone else's words and actions.. seemingly without my full knowledge. I feel like such an idiot! I have repeatedly found myself considering knocking myself utterly brainless against the nearest hard surface because of it. I try -so- hard to do and say the right thing and it always seems to go awry... It all winds up complicating matters and driving people into a shouting snarling match, with myself placed on one side. soo, here I sit, grumbling and hissing to myself.. AT myself for even getting me into this mess in the first place and really, there's nothing for it. the first moment of weakness and I go and do it all over again. -sigh- does it -have- to end as a disaster?

To top that off, it feels like my rl situation is degrading.. bugs and all. and I've no place to flee to if it all goes down the wash. soo many things going wrong.. all seemingly at the same time. Truly, bad news -Does- travel in packs. Really Big ones too!

Beyond all that.. um...
well...
I really liked that pink vid. you might say, I know the feeling well. lol!
I have liked the series True Blood and Vampire Diaries too.. I even liked Blood Ties. too bad it was killed.
and I enjoyed Code Geass even if it did kinda end on a sad note. I also like the series of The Guild. You probably saw the vid below already.

umm... oh!

I got a visit from my sister, who I haven't seen in awhile now. We poured over dad's old photo albums, snickered at all of the cows and spoke a bit about brotherly tales, of which seems to have been swept low and and then picked up again rather unexpectedly by a welcome Samaritan. It was good to catch up a little.


Listening to:
P!nk and The guild.
Reading: nothing
Current Show: Vampire diaries.
Feeling: ughish!
Internet Tabs: fbook.. kinda
Obsessing Over: some guy who lives in another country.
Current Rant: too many to want to type them all out.

P!nk -So What!

nice scene and song

I'll make a man, out of you.

-Mulan

sarcastic and funny.

Do You Want To Date My Avatar
-The Guild

idleness..

* If you could be any person in the world, who would you be, and why?
An alien. Because they have a method of getting around that's rather unique to the common world... and there are far away places I can't seem to get to.

* Describe a place you remember from your childhood.
Playing navigator for my dad as we traveled across country. I got the map, he got the wheel, partly because he was the only driver, partly because he wanted to give me something useful to do, and partly because I knew my way around maps pretty well.

* How did you meet your closest friend?
Who said I have a closest friend? ok ok.. hm.. I first met my closest friend when I was invited on a lark to an SCA gathering in Oregon.

* Write a list of 25 (or just 5!) things you want to do in your life.
1. To see a real live whale in the ocean. 2. To travel off the continent and see places like Europe and Japan. 3. To see Alaska. 4. To write/illustrate a book and get published. 5. To find my niche in the world.

* What is something you do well?
I tell stories well.

* What would have happened if you didn't leave the house this morning?
Who said I have left the house today? umm.. probably nothing special.

* If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Japan, Europe, Scotland, Australia, Canada, Alaska.. need I go on?

* What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?
Writing, because it's expressive. Drawing, because it's freeform, Playing online games, because it is something freeform and expressive for others as well.

* What sets you apart from the crowd?
hmm.. is there anything to set me apart from the crowd? well.. I like all sorts of music genres.. I guess that's a little unusual.

* What do you want to be remembered for?
My sense of kindness and love of laughter.. pass it on! :D

* What is the nicest thing you have done for someone? I have done a lot of nice things for people. might need to ask them.

* What is the greatest lesson you've learned so far in your life?
hm.. the greatest lesson.. so far... hmm.. greatest thing to me personally, through the hardship of figuring it out.. I'd say.. God answers prayer, even if the answer is 'No'. all around though, it'd be "Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you." in other words.. treat people like you would want to be treated.

* If you could invent anything new, what would it be?
A teleportation device.

* If you could have three wishes, what would they be?
1. To invent that teleportation device I just mentioned...unlimited distance.(or at least world-wide.) 2. To be a shape-shifter(controlled). 3. financial (and legal) security.

* How would you spend a found $20 bill? I'd save it for a time, until finding something I just 'had' to get.

* What is the most exciting thing that ever happened to you?
exciting as in how? horrific exciting? suddenly finding myself stranded alone on a quiet country road somewhere in the usa.. at night. surprising exciting? Someone throwing an actual surprise birthday for me, for the first time.. ever.

* What is your favorite day of the week? Saurday! (does that classify as 'week'?.. if not then Friday!!)

* Name some things you are thankful for.
Hot running water. Sight. Sound. warmth/coolness, dry areas/shade, Friends. Family. (not necessarily in that order)

* What was your favorite childhood toy? A stuffed cat I called 'hot stuff'

another cool video

Her Morning Elegance
by Oren Lavie

thoughts and musings

I'm rather analytical and introspective person by general nature. Recently I have come to musing about the expressions of love vs crush and a soulmate vs a life mate.

Have you ever developed a crush on someone? It feels a bit like a heart-stopping thrill-a-second coaster that you just can't seem to get off of until the ride is over and the cart has come to a complete dead-stop. ..and my-oh-my do people do some of the stupidest things when crushing! we are talking true to classic noggin-thwapping stuff here. but it usually ends. and often-times, it is a rather abrupt stop too. fights, anger, tears, agony...and sometimes.. it is easily forgotten as well.

but now love, as ever I have seen it.. is a constant thing, with certainty that the object of your attention will be a part of your heart for the rest of your life. That it doesn't matter how many years, or what horrible things have been done or will be done.. you will always love them in a deeper sense then your average infatuation case.

Then there is the differences between what people consider a soulmate and a lifemate... which touches upon the whole subject of old souls and reincarnation or destiny.

A lifemate, to me, is someone you spend your life with. pure and simple, compared to the complexity of a soul mate. You can love, be in love and even crush on a lifemate.
A soulmate, is someone, whose very being and essence draws you together like nothing or no-one else in the scope of the universe can. Sometimes, it can even be against one's will.
These two ..elements? are not always found in the same person.

I saw an episode of a recent tv series, in which this pi was approached by and 'old soul' looking for his wife of a previous incarnation. but, as it turned out, she had married and was happy with her choice. So it would seem, that the old soul and she were soul-mates.. and the girl had taken a lifemate. (which kind of knocked their combined death-for-love-and-rebirth thing rather askew.) Needless to say the old soul was rather resistant to the idea of her having chosen anyone but him.
So then, does this mean, that these two soul-mates will drift further and further apart, never to come together again? or..does it mean, that they will go their way for this lifetime.. and come together in another? and what of the life-mate then? he is married to the girl, and yet knows, (or does he?,) that while he is her spouse and love for this lifetime.. she has a deeper and older connection to another guy. or does the lifemate then become another soulmate? perhaps replacing or adding to the number she has? either way, it seems they knew eachother to be soulmates, destined to be drawn to one another like bonded recognition.

Now, how might this apply to rl? look around you, walk of life, school, church, gathering spots. you ever wonder, will 'she' stay with him, past the event.. or when the heady crush wears off? will 'he' find that 'his' heart will truely always be 'hers' even after years have gone by? how about the two married people there, they love eachother sure, but why is 'she' murmuring that,..perhaps there might be something yet missing from her heart? why, if 'he' is so in love, is 'he' still looking around him, even in knowing 'he' cannot touch, nor would 'he' really want to? is there a difference between soul and life mates? and if there is..

Its easy to see that there can be many lifemates in a single lifetime. divorce being an option in this world has shown us this,.. to some, quite a number of times too! So then, what about this soul mate business? can a single person have a true soul-mate somewhere in the whole of the world? The world is quite a big place really.. in spite of the saying of its being small. There are a lot of people.. a lot of cultures.. and a lot of different time-lines going on. I would imagine how much easier it would be to choose a life mate then it would be to find that one person with whom you are 'drawn' to. Perhaps then, many people never actually find their soul mate.. and instead settle comfortably with the lifemate potentials they can see right around them.
what then, should happen, if, after having gotten comfy in their happy life with someone, the soulmate shows up on the radar?

sighs

I'm a bit worried about mr Tf. He claims to be returning more often, and yet the opposite has proven true thus far. He claims that he cares, that he wouldn't leave.. and yet.. it seems that he has. I am.. not quite sure how to take it really. oh, he has his excuses.. I'm sure they are perfectly valid one's too. or perhaps they were. So now in my pining.. I need to carry on... not knowing which way to turn.. feeling lost... and I mean more then just 'in a crowd'. So pardon my randomness for a little while longer... I'm trying to patch up.. trying to find a safe attitude to take. something I can do to seal away the wounds once again.

ok so.. watch those oxhorn's vids. they are pretty funny, I think. and good for a reality break... and if you have ever played wow, they are hilarious!

Listening to:
nothing.
Reading: random blogs.
Current Show: blood ties.
Feeling: ehh.
Internet Tabs: rainy days, fbook.
Obsessing Over: guild politics and affairs of the heart.
Current Rant: my own instability.


Oxhorn's Short shorts. Prof Evil kills All Gold Farmers.

Oxhorn tells off Xfire

Inventing Swear words 5

ehh? wow!

Ok, who let that horrible thing out again?! Back! Back! Back into your cage! back I say! *skreee! Crash! shutter.. click* there we go. Enough about my monsters,.. On to better things!


First of all. I really want to thank my friends. Without you, this whole lousey time o the year thing would have been a lot worse then it was. Grateful hardly even touches the depth of my feeling here. thank you. sincerely. :)


Once upon a time, in the land of Iria, there was this kitty. she wasn't very remarkable really, at least she didn't think so. but when it comes to friends, she had some of the very best. Last night, the kitty was facing having to go through a dungeon that was in just about every way superior to her meager skills. So friends gathered to help protect her along the way. Leading the pack in general, was mr Dl and his guild leader. beside him, for the most part, was the punch-packer mr Gw. (don't mess with this guy. seriously.) also gamely zooming along was the uber mr Rs and the windmilling mr Am. Kitty couldn't have been in safer hands. In fact, she didn't do much more then lift her healing wand a few times and race along in the group's wake in efforts to somehow keep up. She honestly couldn't have been more impressed/blown away by the efficiency and speed with which they dispatched the monsters. added to the realization that they did this just for her caused her to gush her thanks afterward. kitty sure is lucky to have such remarkable friends.

personally, I wish she had somehow managed pictures. :)

Just ignore it.

This ...ya know, sometimes, i really think life sucks. just when you start to notice a rise in well-feeling.. like maybe -this- year will be a little brighter then the others have been around this time.. like maybe theres a bit of hope after all... and suddenly, with no real warning.. nosedive.. straight off the cliff and into the smog, swirling like some unseen witch's greenish concoction, far below.

Once again the heart has taken the reins.. and -once again- I experience the pain of such horrible tearing sadness and a futile sense of flailing about... getting no-where at all, except back into the mire of depression, which as it seems, I am forever seeking a way out from...but it just keeps sucking me irresistibly back in.

I'm not sure if any of this makes sense to those of you that might be reading this. not 100% sure I care at the moment so youl have to forgive me. I guess this too, is a part of who I am. A part of me that I can never seem shake get free of.. no matter how hard or often that I try.

oh sure, sure.. there's a reason why this happens every stinking year around this time. sure. the fact being, I miss my mom a great deal. Its like some kind of morbid death-day or something. always seems to happen right around this time, and the veneer of my happiness portrayed, fails me.. horribly, I am left exposed and crying.

So what is there to do about it? nothing that I have ever found. All I can suggest is.. smile along when I do, don't dig too deeply, forgive my random bouts of tears and growls, and hope to heaven I get over it quickly.

And for those that run up against my raw nerves and pet peeves, you -know- I'm going to howl objections and throw dark looks around the room. How I HATE when that happens! Why does it have to keep happening?!

Its nothing. I'm fine.. or.. I'm sure I will be. I -need- the comforting friendship.. and yet, in my more cool reasoning mind I know that I have no real -need- for much of anything... or anyone. Its like I seek it out though, with a kind of fevered desire, only to rail against it uselessly when I come up against it. What a totally un-reasonable, idiotic pattern!

So once again, here I sit, commiserating myself with no-one or thing to talk to.. to thump my fists uselessly against a wall and bawl like some spoilt little child who has just learned that her whole world has turned itself inside-out to face a sickly shade of puce green and life will never ..ever.. go back to the sweet comfortable way it was. no more time to even wonder if maybe there was any real or true appreciation. It's done.

The snitched candy has hit the floor and shattered into a zillion microscopic shards with no way to -ever- see its original form ...ever again. it's gone. there's no way to do more then watch and wallow now, I guess... so yeah, a reason for sure.. a need, most certainly.. and know that should I snarl, ~"Leave me alone!"~ it's not forever. I'm just being crap poor company is all.

Slam your doors if you think you must, push the button to turn it all off if you have to... knowing that each sharp noise is sending its splinters deep into my being, there to stay... even as I snarl and scream in agony.. MoM! ahh mom.. I sorely miss you! ...even now. ...forgive me for being so pathetic.

Listening to:
nothing.
Reading: nothing.
Current Show: none.
Feeling: guess.
Internet Tabs: not bothering atm.
Obsessing Over: who cares.
Current Rant: my own ineptness.

and the answers are !!

quiz results! with (my comments) in the brackets.

completed the quiz "What kind of camper are you?" with the result You are a tenter.
You like to rough it. You are a "true camper". You're not afraid of sleepin on rocks or the ground. Bugs don't bother you. You'd rather be under the stars than confined to the inside of a camper..

completed the quiz "Which Muppet are you?" with the result Rowlf the Dog.
You are calm and quiet, a laid back and easygoing person. Talented at whatever you put your mind to, you are never one to brag or boast about your skills. Your idea of a satisfying day would be to go to work, come home, read a book, have a couple of beers, take a walk and go to bed. No need for extravagance, you are happy with the simple things in life. Loyal and a good friend, you are understated but much appreciated by all. .

completed the quiz "What kind of mask do you wear?" with the result Innocence.
Your mask is innocence. You are innocent but not easily impressionable. You always give people the benefit of the doubt, and are nice to everyone you meet. You never really judge anyone, but you sometimes may judge yourself. Everyone who meets you usually adores you, even if you don't really know it. You always think you may be messing up or doing something wrong, but you're usually not. You don't have a problem restricting yourself from things you think you shouldn't do, although sometimes you're a bit curious. Sometimes people try to take advantage of you, but you don't always notice. Over all you're untainted, friendly, and everyone loves you. (Toja I was innocent!)

completed the quiz "Which Jedi are you?" with the result Obi Wan Kenobi.
You are smart and patient. You've learned to think first and act later. The tragedies in your life have made you wiser. (Get help from the obi-wan!)

completed the quiz "How Well do you know Men?" with the result Excellent!! (100%).
Fantastic!! You really do know men pretty Well!! Either you're a master at what men really want or you've blatantly cheated! Or you might just be a man trying to find out if this quiz is authentic enough! whatever it is, Congratulations, you're an Expert on that pathetic species called "Man". (O.O;)

completed the quiz "Which Beatles song are you?" with the result Hey Jude.
You're "Hey Jude". Your all about making life a bit more brighter, no matter what has happened before. Unfortunately, you're a hopeless romantic, and most of your time is spent getting over loved ones. When your life is a train wreck, your friends cheer you up, help you see the brighter side, and help you to get back on your feet and back into the game. "Hey jude, dont make it bad, take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better.".

completed the quiz "What Decade Fits Your Personality Best?" with the result 1930's.
You are strong and determined and have what it takes to get through life's storms. You are very helpful to those around you-- be it your friends, your family, or even a neighbor in need. You are a great leader and strong-willed person, and take challenges as a way to better yourself...But you also have a deep sense of warmth and nurturing for those you care about. You are well-rounded and tough because you have to be. You aren't a "diva" but rather a humble person with admirable character. With more hard-working, quality like you, this world would be a much better place. By being able to turn a little into a lot, you know how to make life enjoyable even if it's just through the little things. (ummm kay)

took the How Bored are you? quiz and got the result: 93.. (Yep! thats pretty bored alright)

took the What's your best quality? quiz and got the result: Kindness..
Kindness: You will lend a helping hand to any friend you think needs it, and to everyone who you have helped they see you as a close friend who they appreciate and ready to return a favor. Your kindness is likely to earn you a reputation and make you the go-to person when your friends seek quality companionship.

took the What candy are you? quiz and got the result: You are Twizzlers!..
You are Twizzlers!: You've got a great sense of humor and can be hilarious at times. You always enjoy a good laugh with your friends - and you are good at making them laugh too. You are sweet and fun just like the Twizzlers!

took the How GIRLY Are You? quiz and got the result: 0% Girly..
0% Girly: You are all man and no girl. (A sign of a true tomboy.)

took the What color is your heart? quiz and got the result: Your heart is SILVER..
Your heart is SILVER: You have a silvery heart that is characterized by logic and reason. You tend not to not to make impulse decisions and you know when is the right time to eliminate emotional from critical decisional elements. Your friends trust you with your sense of responsibility and intuition, but you might sometimes come across as aloof with your tendency to be always logical. (just call me Spock-ette lol!)

took the What's your SOUL MATE like? quiz and got the result: A care-taker..
A care-taker: Your soul mate is sensitive and attentive. He/she takes pleasure in making sure both of you feel comfortable, secure and blissful in the relationship. He/she incorporates all the virtues of being trust-worthy, loyal, and a good listener. You'll find yourself so pampered in the relationship that you would never want to leave.

took the What is the First Letter of the Person Who Secretly Loves You? quiz and got the result: M..
M: The name of the person who loves you will start with the letter M. He/She will treat you like royalty. They have the right personality to sweep you off your feet and leave you feeling breathless. (hmmmm....M)

took the What kind of smile do you have? quiz and got the result: Timid smile..
Timid smile: You rarely let out hysteric stomach-hurting laughter around people you are not familiar with. You tend to be a bit more reserved at social settings, but you probably haven't noticed that your timid smile makes you more adorable and attractive. (aaaahahahaha!)

took the What crayon color are you? quiz and got the result: Royal Violet..
Royal Violet: You are Royal Violet! You are self confident and knowledgeable and, to others, uncharacteristically humble. You make decisions in your life with an insight that can only be marveled at by others. You are admired, but you never want yourself put on a pedestal. You like to mingle with all kinds of people to learn about yourself and grow.

took the What flavor of ice cream are you? quiz and got the result: Mango Sorbet Ice Cream. (Mango?..I'd rather the taste of guava ty)

_____
Listening to:
general silence.. ticcing of the keyboard.
Reading: Naruto and Bleach.. still.
Current Show: ...Star Trek the next generation
Feeling: slightly bleh not a good time of the year for me.
Internet Tabs: Facebook, Mabi-home, Gaia
Obsessing Over: mabi life-skills and the need for more ap.
Current Rant: Michael J. in the news. At the risk of sounding cold-hearted, it's about time he moved on. He was beginning to resemble a lich or crypt-keeper to me..both in looks and personality.

got to do eet!!

umm.. hm.. ok.. its another one of those days for me... so many things to do.. and I don't actually want to do any of them.

Listening to:
general silence.. ticcing of the keyboard.
Reading: Naruto and Bleach.. still.
Current Show: ...Star Trek original series
Feeling: slightly bleh/headache/eye strain
Internet Tabs: Facebook, Rainy Days, Mabi-home, Gaia
Obsessing Over: mabi life-skills and the need for more ap.
Current Rant: the news and idiots who blame songs and video games as a cause for murder. games don't kill people.. it's people with a mental screw loose that kills people.

ok.. friends.. hmm... where to start.. maybe with a definition? *thinking*

there are people you have met, you know their face, maybe even their name.. but nothing more really. faces in the crowd.
there are acquaintances.. people you know a bit about.. maybe through another friend.. maybe through a company or a mutual interest.
there are fair-day friends.. people you know a bit about and like. you might chat or play.. and you like them, but they arnt someone you would turn to for even a slight problem.. since their reaction isn't likely something you could understand at the moment or are able to use in any way to help solve the issue.
there are friends.. people you know a fair amount of. you like them, you have some common ground. you can talk to eachother if there is a real need to.
there are good friends. people you know well. you talk all the time, chum around together quite a bit. people you can and do occasionally talk to about life's issues.
there is best friends.. people you know quite well...you chum, you chat, you play. you are buddies. you can talk to them about anything really. people you trust with your ups and downs...even if they might seem silly to others.
and top of the list.. true friends. these people mean the most. they have been with you through thick and thin.. still hanging in there after years have gone by. and you still talk. you are still close. as close as could be without wandering off into a 'love relationship', which is a whole different list.

I couldn't hope to name all the people I have met on the internet in actuality. too many. and many of them very cool people.

I once knew a guy I'll call Dinobite.. he and bara were the best of friends, and I was friends with them through an old online game. one day, seemingly out of the blue, dinobite lost his cool and decided he's had enough of friendship with either of us. He claimed he had too many friends anyway. this seriously affected both bara and me, since we thought ourselves counted as above the mark from the rest of the crowd concerning dinobite. bara in particular. was hit hard by it. he has been best of friends with dinobite for quite some time. they were, in a sense, inseparable. eventually though, we were forced to admit two things, one, the dinobite must have gone seriously yonkers.. and that he wasn't returning. Emotions I have concerning him: happy thoughts for the most part.. and saddness that he chose to leave us all so abruptly.

Now while I realize one can have the wrong kind of friends.. I do not believe one can have too many friends. friends, even online ones.. are worth knowing. even when you think they collectively got you running yourself ragged trying to stay up with them all. Just need to stay paced is all. a good friend will certainly understand if you say "I can't right now" once in awhile.


So of course, I heard those words again recently. This time from another friend of mine. Ruff, although a young kid as yet, is looking for a girlfriend in the game we play. he met this girl he likes, but she is shy and defensive. she said she doesn't know him well enough, that he is too young for her, and wants to be friends.
He yowls, saying he doesn't -want- a friend. he wants a gf! that he has too many friends already. and signs off. bleh I think he's trying too hard. emotions: basic happy thoughts.. and a bit of confusion.

Another I know.. Fire.. he's um.. well, there are those that like him.. and those that can't seem to stand him. now me, I've pretty much gotten along well with him. The guy has his points on both ends of the scale, to be sure. he's had moments where he has been unreasonable, determined and deadly... and for those he is against, this can be a very bad thing. On the other hand, there are times when he can be the sweetest most lovely and giving of persons, he smiles so easily and is such great fun to be around. I suppose thats what first really attracted me to him the first time I got to meet him... his sense of fun and joy. atm, I'd like to be his bathrobe. is that such a bad thing? lol! thoughts: the full gambit really.

speaking of a sense of fun.. there's also this fellow I met a bit ago now, Sirin. He had a great sense of what was fun. even when there was nothing really going on in the game we were in, he'd usually find some enjoyment. something that would cause me fits of giggles pretty much every time. He'd try hopping on top of npc noggins, he convinced a pirate to marry him, and bickered with the guild leader over the look of a chicken hat.

then I suppose it takes all types, doesnt it? I have a friend, Honda, who sweet though she is, is another who seems to think she has too many friends. but then, I suppose its for different reasons. a lot of her friends are always asking things of her or demanding at times.. and it has put strain on her heart. so of late, in spite of her usual bouncy self, she has gone all quiet. I kinda miss her skipping around me, giggling, whenever I got within her sight.

And heres for another one..

Was recently chatting with a friend, and it was suggested I revisit a blog post concerning friends.. not exactly sure what I might say about each of the friends I have... or even which ones might be mentioned. certainly I value them all for bunches of reasons, many of them different, and all of them are well beyond mere words. I could state what I 'think' of them, or what I think they think of me, could state how I see them, or what emotions I typically feel around them, perhaps, or maybe what I consider personality adds and disads? hmm.. how about a mix? then again, I have never been one for listing names so.. I have to think on this one a bit more maybe.




Listening to:
Tir local music in Mabi
Reading: Naruto and Bleach.. still.
Current Show: ...Star Trek original series
Feeling: slightly annoyed/headache/eye strain
Internet Tabs: Facebook, Rainy Days, Mabi-home, Gaia
Obsessing Over: Mabi life skills
Current Rant: Just who is misinterpreting whom?

Thoughts of the day

Yay Kakashi has returned! ok, so why couldn't the skuzzy creep bring back Jiriaya also? and whats with those old idiots thinking to put the warhawk, Danzo, into such power as he's been pushing for all along anyway? surely even old eyes can see what a mistake -that- would be! Besides, they are supposed to be the voice of the people, arnt they? well right now, people's choice number one is being joyously tossed into the air in celebration for saving the city. and what about Tsunade? she might be out of it right now, but don't count her out of the picture just yet.

I have a good friend, Mr R, or.. at least I consider him a good friend. I met him through a mutual (at the time) good friend, sometime ago now, and we have chatted on and off since then. He was always polite, and rather 'proper'... which is a bit odd for my usual run of friendship circles. I liked him well enough tho. Then he disappeared for several weeks and when I next see him, he isn't at all much like I remembered. People change though, and I was willing to accept that. One day, he asks to meet up with me, which was a first, and we took it to town. Over the course of the next hour or so, I discover he has a liking for my odd sense of 'bubbly' random personality. It kinda blows me away for a bit, since I never even considered this guy.. and my stunned reel of reaction, apparently, wasn't at all what he was looking for. He gives me a 'stiff upper lip', tells me that he he does not appreciate pity, and leaves me standing there. Now, -since when- does my natural flirt/friendliness or even that of a speechless/stunned reaction translate into pity? I could see a possible dismayed reaction.. thinking I might not feel the same for him or such, but pity? Why on earth would I pity him? (... wanders off dizzily, muttering under her breath about haughty tin cans and stuffed shirts.)

oof... gots a nasty headache.



You know you want to see it! :D

Another day, another post

here he is, Snorts, the cutest piggy in the whole history of piggydom.

wow!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv

go check this one out!
singer: Susan Boyle

here is another one..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k08yxu57NA
singer: Paul Potts

Laundry Portals

Saw an odd little portal pop up one day, half behind the washing table next to the wall. I dont even want to mention what form I took upon entry into this other world.. but I do have this odd craving for an ear scratch.

Anyway, It took me a bit to get my bearings on just which world this one was when I thought I heard a familiar voice. There was this girl with purple hair in piggytails and big clear eyes purring at me! Kita! well, at least I was close to friends. :)

That was my intro to the world of Mabi. Which, as far as worlds I have seen up till now, isnt so bad. It's not quite as 'all encompassing' as rata's world, nor as 'pixeled' as the world of RS... and yet, it has many different things to do beyond the typical hack-n-slash of most places. Even it's sister world of MS is no real comparison...other then the lack of being able to jump. The only actual jumping I get to do here is the bouncing and darting about I do as I am attacking some monster.

Kita seemed to be the only one to really recognize me.. I'm not sure how she knew, but she sat right down, smiled, and gave me that needed ear scratch.

From my time thus far, I have gathered a bit of the girl's ongoing story... and since it is so much more interesting then my own place in the world, here it is. ...

She couldn't have been in the world for very long at all when she first picked up a lute and began to play it. There she stood, next to the general store, listening to the sweet tone of the lute.. still in newbie clothes and short dark hair.. That was about when she first met her future spouse, Tai. He showed up on the run, and without so much as an "are you new?" he loaded her down with music scrolls, laughed.. something about eating berries.. and was off again.

The two made fast buddys. Not too long after that, He asked her to marry him. They have been together since then. Through him, and beside him, she has met quite a number of people, many becoming good friends. She has attained paladin status recently, which is quite a feat considering her humble start.. and is working toward knowing....a bit about everything possible in this fun world. :D

_______________

random favorite vids

Vidivodo.com : aqua timez - alones music video  Etiket: aqua_timez

Aqua Timez - Alones


Queen - Don't Stop Me Now by tintinchezlespicaros
Queen - Don't Stop Me Now


Extreme - More Than Words by iamseb
Extreme - More Than Words


John Denver - I want to live

odd enough to be kinda cool.

Listening to:
Hatsune miku Pachelbel's canon in minor keys
Reading: Naruto and Bleach
Current Anime: ...
Feeling: Mostly sad.
Internet Tabs: Facebook
Obsessing Over: friendship
Current Rant: friendships take time.. If you can't, or are unwilling to take time for them.. they go away.

eek! tagged!!

Gee thanks Mesh. Lol!
ok ok.. so. i gotta say 10 things about my room. hmmm...

1) Its messy... something about the whole chaotic-orderliness of it all appeals to me.
2) There is always a clear path from bedside to door. Stay on the path if you value your existence!
3) The walls are painted a sunshine yellow.. with white hatch-work on one side. no, this doesn't improve my waking attitude. I'm not a morning person.
4) I have two windows, one is usually cracked open to add fresh air circulating the room via the ceiling fan. (no, my curtains are never open.. I prefer a twilight gloom to my sleeping space.)
5) There are several pics on the wall, mostly of sunflowers, one of lemonade n ice, one of cranes, and um.. there's also one of a big white tiger trying to stalk off the wall.
6) I have a riot of stuffed animals attempting to claim one corner of the room from ceiling to floor, crowned by a large reindeer and an old teddy bear.
7) There are various books and art tools hidden strategically around the room and only -I- know where to find them, thankyouverymuch!
8)Lessee.. I have a huge thick handmade quilt(My sister is amazing!)usually draped over the footboard of the bed... since I sleep 'nest' style, this is often the only 'folded' blanket in the room. (and Yes, I -do- have a favorite soft blanky, which is there, ready to snuggle with.)
9) I have two dressers, one doubles as a convenient shelf.. and the other is being overrun by the stuffed animals.
and 10) I have a nightlight. *shrug* got a problem with that? I dont. :D

ok.. there ya have it. *shifty eyes* I'll get you back for this...somehow. *sly grin*

thought provoking

"The way I look at it too is; I live my whole life for God and enjoy a relatively good life and I die, and say I was wrong...........what did I have to lose? Now say I live the same lifestyle I die and I'm right..................The choice is yours my friend"

by a randomly found forum poster.

ehhh, its another one of 'those' days.

Listening to: The evening hum of my computer.
Reading: Naruto ... still.
Current Anime: Kyou Kara Maou
Feeling: Frustrated and sad.
Internet Tabs: Rinku's website.
Obsessing Over: the blehhs... I guess.
Current Rant: no rant atm.. just a bit of depression.

Yes yes, even I have down days. "I read the news today.. ohboy",.. another dear friend is drifting away. I expected it really. Tried not to see it but.. ah well... It happened anyway and there's nothing to save it anymore,.. if there ever was.
Had a friend's dad pass away recently. I didn't really know the guy.. But I liked him, from what i did see. Kind of a gruff big guy with a warm heart. I'm sure I'll miss him.
It's amazing to note how people affect each-other soo much. Even with just the briefest of touches. and it can happen even virtually as well. I don't quite know what to think of it most of the time.

other times..I wish I could just roll back to a moment or three and take an eraser to a few of things I said and/or did and make the memory of them a bit more tolerable.

----
Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
closed.

Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
yep

Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
Sheets never stay tucked in through a single night.

Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
no

Do you like to use post-it notes?
yep

Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
sometimes

Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
neither

Do you have freckles?
yep

Do you always smile for pictures?
nope

What is your biggest pet peeve?
getting my glasses wet.

Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
yep

Have you ever peed in the woods?
yep

What about pooped in the woods?
yep.. well when ya gotta go, you gotta go.

Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing?
mhmm

Do you chew your pens and pencils?
sometimes

What size is your bed? queen, i think.

What is your Song of the week?
Imagination - by jes brieden

Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
i guess so

Do you still watch cartoons?
sometimes

Whats your least favorite movie?
I try hard to block out horrible events in my life.

Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
a jungle island somewhere.. seems like a good classic spot.

What do you drink with dinner?
iced tea

What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
ranch or honey sauce

What is your favorite food?
pizza!

What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
10th kingdom.

Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
yep

Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
nope

Favorite kind of sandwich? peanut butter and jelly

Best thing to eat for breakfast? pancakes!

When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
a cat

Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
nope

Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
legos

Are you stubborn?
nope! *crosses arms*

Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
neither!!

Ever watch soap operas?
a few times

Afraid of heights?
nope

Sing in the car?
yep

Dance in the shower?
sometimes

Dance in the car?
ehh??

Ever used a gun?
yep

Do you think musicals are cheesy?
some are.. in a good way!

Is Christmas stressful?
can be.. has been.

Ever eat a pierogi?
mhmm

Favorite type of fruit pie?
cheery

Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
astronomer or a dancer

Do you believe in ghosts?
yep

Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
mhmm

Wear slippers?
nope

Wear a bath robe?
at times.

What do you wear to bed?
depends on how warm it is

First concert?
john denver

Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
wal-mart.. i guess

Nike or Adidas?
neither

Cheetos Or Fritos?
hmm tough one.

Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
peanuts

Ever take dance lessons?
nope

Can you curl your tongue?
onto its side, yep

Ever won a spelling bee?
yepyep

Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
a few times

Own any record albums?
yep

Own a record player?
yep..somewhere.

Regularly burn incense?
nope

Ever been in love?
yep..several times.

Hot tea or cold tea?
cold tea

Tea or coffee?
tea

Sugar or snickerdoodles?
snickerdoodles!

Can you swim well?
I can swim.

Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
yes

Are you patient?
not particularly

Ever won a contest?
don't think so

Ever have plastic surgery?
no

Which are better black or green olives?
green olives

Can you knit or crochet?
crochet

Best room for a fireplace?
living room

Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
not normally

Do you miss anyone right now?
yes

Does it matter?
no. not at all, really.

First for the pudding, then for the Stew!

oops.. seems I have lost track of my emoticons... hm.. guess I'll take a page from the list of a favorite haunt of mine for a time..

Listening to: The sound of morning silence and key tapping.
Reading: Naruto ... still.
Current Anime: Magical shopping arcade ... again.
Feeling: Frustrated, growlish, and sad. (I have a headache)
Internet Tabs: Rinku's website.
Obsessing Over: my side of the story, Damditall!

.....

Current Rant: game idiocy and some of the people involved.

Gotta get this one out in the air before it turns me an ill shade of purplish-red or something....

This is the reason I don't like to go to bed angry, not only can I not sleep worth a lick or nod, but I'm still in an ill temper when I finally drag myself out of bed. and then there's also the thought of it turning into bitterness if not resolved... which makes it a lot harder to get shed of.

ok.. Here's the situation.. I am helping someone dear to me, with a quest in a rather fun game. we are looking for scrolls which will give us entry to a special dungeon and a boss which needed to be soloed.. which is what the main quest was about.
we find only one scroll.. and it's got a time limit. so we decide to go for the main dungeon so my dear can get the boss solo.
now as far as I know for sure, no-one else in the group was allowed to enter the boss room. ok, so we get all the way down, then mdear goes in to solo the boss...beats it..and doesn't get the quest update.

So he then gets pissed and leaves us hangin at the dungeon. After a while of trying to talk to him.. trying to cheer him up, I finally get invited to 'find' him. Once located, I once more try to be of support.. and I get chewed on instead. imagine my surprise as he heaps ala blame onto me, says I withheld valuable info from him, of how he had trusted me, and I screwed it all up for him.. etc etc etc.

Now here's the issue... Before this time, a couple of days maybe, another friend wanted assistance with the same quest, which I helped in. during the dungeon run, she insisted on picking up all the door keys.. and when we came to the boss room, she had us disband and return to the surface.
When mdear showed up. I told him about the friend having gone through the quest. but either he didn't get the connection, or he wasn't listening.. how was I to know? When we got into the main dungeon, he was racing along.. not giving any real opportunity for chatting, and I sorta figured he must already have an idea as to how it worked... especially as I wasnt to sure if it was all necessary anyway. Big mistake. soooo

While I am willing to accept the thought that he didn't know something I should have shared... I -did- tell him about the friend having gone through it.. several times, in fact... I think perhaps he could be looking the situation over a bit more carefully before throwing around accusations. beh.

At this point, I think I'm gunna bow out of this particular quest. dearful can foot it on his own.. especially since I have no desire to be blamed for 'screwing it all up' for him again.

Someone once summed it up for me in this way.. the next time you go pointing a finger at someone else.. take a look at your hand, and you'l notice not one, but three fingers pointing straight back at you.

The bible puts it another way..

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.
Matthew 7:1-5 *

In other words.. what you give out comes back to you.. don't be putting the blame or scoffing at others for their flaws and mistakes when you just may have bigger ones of your own to deal with first.

others have their own way of saying it..
Karma - the totality of a person's actions in any one of the successive states of that person's existence, thought of as determining the fate of the next stage. **

and..
What goes around, comes around. ***

-sigh- I guess this is another one of those "lessons learned" deals.

When some great sorrow, like a mighty river,
Flows through your life with peace-destroying power
And dearest things are swept from sight forever,
Say to your heart each trying hour:
"This, too, shall pass away."

When ceaseless toil has hushed your song of gladness,
And you have grown almost too tired to pray,
Let this truth banish from your heat its sadness,
And ease the burdens of each tiring day:
"This, too, shall pass away."

When fortune smiles, and, full of mirth and pleasure,
The days are flitting by without a care,
Lest you should rest with only earthly treasure,
Let these few words their fullest import bear:
"This, too, shall pass away."

When earnest labor brings you fame and glory,
And all earth's noblest ones upon you smile,
Remember that life's longest, grandest story
Fills but a moment in earth's little while:
"This, too, shall pass away."

-by: Lanta Wilson Smith



-----
* http://www.openbible.info/topics/judging_others
** http://www.yourdictionary.com/karma
*** http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_meaning_of_what_goes_around_comes_around

A Special Day

A special time for wonderful friends.



Tai and Kita, Mabinogi Jan 2009

Kita says, don't grouch about the gloves. She had to have something old to go with the new dress. lol!

And for the hours after...



New wedding armor!! Isn't it great?!

**********

Nother quiz type..

Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following.
You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question. And you can not use the same word twice. ok


WHAT IS YOUR NAME: Sunnyelf

BOY NAME: Samwize!

4 LETTER WORD: SunT

GIRL NAME: Sandra

OCCUPATION: Skater

A COLOR: Silver

SOMETHING YOU WEAR: Scarf

BEVERAGE: Soda

FOOD: Salmon

SOMETHING FOUND IN A BATHROOM: Soap

A PLACE : Sunnyville

REASON FOR BEING LATE: Sorry... no excuse

SOMETHING YOU SHOUT: Shut-Up!!

Merry Kiss-Mouse!

Rata in his new Frostfell Outfit.. frozen whiskers and all.