Blastoff!

Ok, for those of you maybe interested in a nice portal space.. that gives room for yer news and vids etc.. plus has nice opportunities for online shopping... plus, and this is the best part... its totally free! Check it out *here*
oh.. it says those 13yrs and older can sign-up.. but I think it's actually 18.

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Have you ever made one of those really bad.. and rather obvious puns in a conversation.. and it isn't something that can really be explained... and the person you said it to, gets angry? no.. not groaning, roll the eyes, kind of thing, but huffy, pissy, ticced-off! Just because you really are not in the mood to try explaining just why it's a pun. I mean.. even after you make some lame attempt at it, then try to dismiss it because the pun wasn't even worth the trying for. I just had one of those experiences.. and the person not only got huffy, but stomped off. What a horribly lame reason to pick a fight/tantrum over. I just don't get that.

The definition of a pun is:
A play on words, either on different senses of the same word or on the similar sense or sound of different words.
A pun is a play on words, often humorous, that uses words that have similar or identical sounds but very different meanings.
The use of a word, or of words which are formed or sounded alike, in such a way as to juxtapose, connect, or bring out two or more of the possible applications of the word or words, usually in a humorous way; a play on words


Kind of like, if someone should ask you "what is up?".. and you reply with your height, the ceiling, clouds etc. because all of those things are 'up' from your perspective. using the same question, you could also say you are not, if you are sitting down.

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Which is the most feared of the forest inhabitants?
A hawk claimed that, because he had the ability to fly, he could attack anything from above, and his prey wouldn't have a prayer.
"Due to my strength, no one would challenge me!" said the lion, pride fully.
The skunk, incensed, said, "I need neither flight nor might to frighten off any creature!"
The trio were debating the issue, when a grizzly bear came along and swallowed all,
HAWK, LION, and STINKER.

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Why I flunked English

Let's face it: English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England nor french fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? =20

In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another? When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on. When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it? Now I know why I flunked English. It's not my fault-the silly language doesn't quite know whether it's coming or going.