Monday, July 25, 2022

psycobabble

The other evening, i watched a movie the was a bit of a tearjerker. It was about a kid, grown up in an abusive household. His dad was...a rather ... Grouchy old fellow who had been through a gauntlet of hard knocks...and bitterly tried to instill it in on his son. The grew up and did take on some of those "lessons". Naturally, i about balled tearfully in empathy of the boy working his way into adulthood with those negative brainwashing lessons coming back at him. And then really tore open the tear puddle inside when his dad got cancer..tried to make things right..and died. 
Similar stripes in my own life really. Although it wasnt pa who got the cancer. But i think neither the great mugwumpus, nor me, ever quite got over the death of his lady love. I think the wumpus was finally glad he could draw his long life to a close. Im sure he had regrets. I certainly have a few. I hope he got to meet up with his love in heaven. I think in a way, he did try to make up for the past...for what he could activly recall of it anyway. Meanwhile, look at the boxes of stowed away anger and hurt others still carry in grudge from this... Who suffers most from hiding those away? Not the wumpus..not anymore anyway. At least i got to tell him i love him...and forgave him for whatever i might have still have concerning that past time. forgiveness, i have found is -really- difficult to pull off. Especially if its not only a lot to let go of ..but its been around a very long time really. Its like it all.. got comfortable or... petrified itself to the cabnet like some looong forgotten cough lozenge or somehing.
As for missing mom... I do..still...alot...as evidenced by the size of the puddle of tears i keep adding to every year around this time. Think it might be a salty lake by the time i get around to dumping it out. Bet i could toss it into the ocean and it still wouldnt do a thing to its allaround level tho. Lol
It just goes on and on, doesnt it? These last few years have been really really rough for a lot of people. Homelessness sucks..especially with the lack of food on the grocers shelves...and the lack of jobs to be had...and now, no way to aford to move the run-down heaps that get us to the store and work. *Yelling up and the supposed head of government* hey you up there! Knock it off!! No one appreciates what you are doing and have done already, its not a gaff and its not funny!! Your being an idiot!! Get off the platform already!! Bloody seusian turtle thinks hes doing well, in charge of all he surveys..when its just a lot of well mashed insane mud by this time. I'm tired of being trampled upon!!. And for all you blinders who are tellin him he's king..youv had your say.. get off your high horse, shut up, sit down, and let someone else take the reins for awhile, youv already made a mess of things as it stands...and if you think the guy at the podium isnt making any sence..just take a listen to yourself!! Poor people are sposta magicly afford to buy an electric vehicle to get around now? Even many in the middle class cant aford that on a good day. And for some odd reason, you think taking money from the high-ups and our protectors are somehow going to make it safer for everyone and wont affect the lower classes itl just give the gov more money to spend? Seriously?!! What planet are you from?.. cause you aparently arnt from this one. The elites will simply do what they want, to avoid it..as they have always done..and itll trickle its way down to the street level...like it always has done...and guess who ends up paying the price? We do. stop spending and giving away our hard earned assets to people outside our country..at least untill our country stops screaming from the sacrifices its already had to endure!! And thats from the street level, ya morons... With a whole lot of new souls coming in everyday that are having to suffer with us cuz we -all- have to eat!! You still dont get it? Or are you still holding hands over yer ears while screaming yer own problems into the air and blaming everyone in the world but the ones actually responsible for the issue?
Geez peoples! Stop the hate already! Alright?...its not going to solve anything. (Takes a breath) take a chill pill, reorginize thoughts. Howling on the soapbox aside for the moment.. I dont hate ya. I dont hate who you are, where yer from, how long you have been here or if you know how to swim or not. Have a pool tube. Its all fine. We, in the trenches, can be like family.. try to get along with one another in this mess thats been created around us. On the local level, most of us really do get along fine with eachother, pretty much like we always have. When i was a kid, i had not the slightest notion there where people being mean to others on a massive scale. (Deadly mean, even) I neither expected to apologize to those others..nor expected one from them. My 'world was quite a bit smaller than it is today...and yet, i still see no reason why i should be apoligizing to others for what those others did, nor expecting them to apologize to me at a time i had no idea as to what they did...even if it was a horrible thing ...and those people are long gone by this point..and any apology they might give is kind of..well..lost its potency really. Still..people today, could probably learn a lot from the horrible things done in the past.. and avoid repeating them ...if those mistakes havent already been wiped out or changed from the facts of the occurence within time. People have tried to do that, you know. Wiping something from the history books..only to find themselves repeating the same stupid thing again ..over and over and over again...like a really horrible retake of 'groundhog day'. I am not my gpa's gpa (+ a few years...or so) and neither are you. So stop expecting me to apologize for something he might or might not have done a long time ago. And i wont be expecting it from you either. Neither of us was actually there..and from what i have read, it was a pretty lousey thing to do to another person. neither of us has plans for a repeat of that horror regardless. Right? Now,...about those trafficers waltzing through the portal earlier today with thier braceletted caughts in tow..... 
Ok...i feel somewhat better. *steps off the 'soapbox*

The horrible hazards of being hard of hearing...being considered a loud arse in a noisy place because i simply cannot hear you,.. or me either, to be able to tell just how loud or quiet im being. Its a real issue. Seriously.

No comments: