For my own part..the portal is pretty much completely out of reach right now. Its waay the flock up there and i dont so much as own a ladder. And while i stand here trying to figure out how to get up there..i gots more issues arriving like buzzards to a feast of roadkill. Every other day yet another one of those ugly feathered fiends is waddling to get a bit closer.. and they havent a single care in the world if i can reach that portal or not. They have nothing to do with it.
Now, me, as typical when im feeling overwhelmed..not that hard to do, really. I take to places i can vent..trying to sort it all out aloud. Sorry, for those who live in such venting spots..you get to hear all my griping and none of the better stuff of the life of a portal hopper. Sorry. Its not fair on you. Normally, im not the sort of confronting assertive gregarious types you might find a reason to rely on in this business, i waaay prefer to just let others who are like that, take over that position of experience...while i stick to what i know. And i know, givin that preference, that not all the monkeys will willingly hang out in the barrel for very long. There will always be a few swinging overhead. My but they can and do get frustrating.
So..why is there flack being thrown into the air just now? Why not just ignore the small stuff swinging about the place and get the door open in time regardless? Why is there a need for perfection or bust? Why not just sweep the firt floor off for the moment and leave the flooring for a weekday after? I know that the dirt floor is not perfect just yet..and you are expecting it to be. You go all hair raising poofta when people are drifting about on the air currents when they arnt doing the whats and wheres youd rather they do... And yet, what are you expecting when they cannot rely on the chick feed you provide? Not everyone can use chick feed the very way you would intend it, you know... Even i know that can be the worst .. but what is there to be done by it now?
Maybe im just not seeing a connection where i feel one should be. Hrm.
Ok..so i know i have been...quite s bit less than stellar of late... I feel like my world is in upheaval and i have no words to explain any of it. Figgin vultures are takin Bites outa me!! (Hey, does that make me so much roadkill? Ok, so ehhh allagory.)
I need an assist of an electronic sort so i can better see..and maybe a ruler or two. I get told one is avalable..and yet it never makes it out of the closet.. one more thing which is in another persons court, on someone elses gotta-do list. And not knowing the job requirements and noone can tell you just what it is thats expected. It just is. Why is so much expected for little to no return? Why is a 2-hand carry task expected when one hand needs to be tied to your knee? Thats what i dont get. I need a freaking ladder to get to that portal, you know.. yet peoples are expecting me to fly there. What was it, you said, wheres the money gone? I need a fishing pole here, not just a stinky fish!! The fish is greeaat if all i needed was food for the day. .... Ok...theres something. I need a ladder. Something secure...it doesnt have to be fancy or anything... Just something i can use to get me up there.... Make up some distance... A way to get away... Just for a bit. Trust. I know... Its not easy to do that..how well i know. But thats what we need at this end. We need a ladder, free and clear of push-back. Like the guilded bird cage for the bird...a place of security... (Well..maybe thats too far ) but how to convey this to the ones with more hang-ups than a walk-in closet?
Especially when they dont really trust you? They arnt going to take it well if you think to just buy a solution and then shove them into a closet. They arnt going to give you a perfect wall if they are untried..not even if they are mason apprentices. I know.. i know.. atm..we arnt even tried bird watchers..nevermind masons. ..we dont even have the bricks.so... long story maybe just a bit shorter... We need something clear..and writen down.. we need the materials..no matter how important we think it is. (I know you did say..is there anything else?) *Takes a breath* i know you did say that... And i should have spoken up then. My bad. Atm im not sure of just what i need...and doubtful you wont just wash it under the table as unimportant just now...again. even as i can understand the other side of that..part of the reason i dont feel enabled. No real desire to get into -any- of it atm... My world is in upheaval. Just excuses, ... right?
Geez! Did i just talk myself into a circle?
Still didnt get a whole lot of sleep.. just mornin ache again.
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