A Brand New World

I have gotten another letter from a friend of mine, ms M, who is living in this sweet little village. She has been on total love with this guy for years now and is finally getting some like return in feelings. I'm so happy for her! It seems they have had their own share of problems of late. One of her friends, mr J, got together with a girl, ms K, who had been traveling about the countryside as far back as she could remember. As it turned out, ms K is wanted by another country's people for some rather horrible crimes.. quite likely trumped up one's at that. Then there came this fellow.., mr M, who at first seemed only interrested in ms K, said he was hired by the other country to bring her back. but then divided his focus to that of ms M and her boyfriend, mr K. He simply will not leave them alone! They are sure this has somehow to do with mr K's father, since the man had mentioned his father's rather famous nickname. They have not had any true contact with this rather irritating man since they were last out making sure there were no enemy forces camping in their country's land. Maybe the cooling autumn weather has dulled the threat a little? or perhaps mr M has finally given up and gone back home? it can only be hoped.
Personally, I think along the same lines as ms M. This strange man, mr M, needs to be sat-down and spoken with. He's clearly in some confusion as to which side has the right of it and needs some straightening out.. and soon before this goes too far for all of them!

What? Where?...huh?

A rather scattered week is what it seems to be for me so far. I feel really rather lost with it all. Too many things going on around me.

Rather then give a run-down with all that.. I think I'll give a couple of snapshots of a past time. Lessee... I remember a time, somewhere in the dim fog of a much younger age... Lol! The time I lived in a haunted house with my father and sister. We were renting it in exchange for repairs, I think. anyway. the ghost 'resided' in a little room partitioned off from the rest of the house by a low banister, in the back of the house. as my dad got the only normal bedroom in the house, it was up to my sister and I to figure ourselves out for sleeping. neither of us would dare sleep in that little room. the, who/whatever it was, was not the best of housemates one could wish for. regardless of all that... I remember putting on a puppet show on the porch for no-one.. hows that for a highlight? *grin* I remember...climbing a tree and dreaming of a treehouse. ..of playing with bugs and the many ant-lions that inhabited the unused driveway. ..of a big bush next to a tire-swing that I could never get the hang of swinging on. ..of a bamboo stand I used to loooove to play in. ...of becoming horribly upset over a babysitting job that took the whole rest of my evening with several unruely boys, only to find out that one was still in diapers and having no means to change him.. having no place to lay them down.. no meal to give them.. and having the parents show up at 3am. (I remember swearing off babysitting from that point onward too.) ..of a time I learned that large milk jars, even if they are full of water, are not free from bursting when put over flame. ..of having to clean up the result from said 'tea' experiment because no-one else would. ..of running away from a school officer who had come around back to see if he could better figure why I was playing absent from school. (I started my rebel phase of life rather early. lol)

Just Because...

For no particular reason, I thought the idea of having a mood smiley put in with my posts. Not that I post everyday, mind you.. lol! So here's my mood at the moment.

Musical Mayhem

Everytime We Touch
by Cascada

still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me.
I still feel your touch in my dreams.
Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why
Without you it's hard to survive.

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling.
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly.
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
Need you by my side.
'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static.
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky.
Can't you hear my heart beat so...
I can't let you go.
Want you in my life.

Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky.
They wipe away tears that I cry.

The good and the bad times, we've been through them all.
You make me rise when I fall.

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling.
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly.
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
Need you by my side.
'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static.
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky.
Can't you hear my heart beat so...
I can't let you go.
Want you in my life.

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling.
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly.
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
Need you by my side.

Accidentally In Love
by Counting Crows

So she said what's the problem baby
What's the problem I don't know
Well maybe I'm in love (love)
Think about it every time
I think about it
Can't stop thinking 'bout it

How much longer will it take to cure this
Just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's love (love)
Makes me wanna turn around and face me but I don't know nothing 'bout love

Come on, come on
Turn a little faster
Come on, come on
The world will follow after
Come on, come on
Cause everybody's after love

So I said I'm a snowball running
Running down into the spring that's coming all this love
Melting under blue skies
Belting out sunlight
Shimmering love

Well baby I surrender
To the strawberry ice cream
Never ever end of all this love
Well I didn't mean to do it
But there's no escaping your love

These lines of lightning
Mean we're never alone,
Never alone, no, no

We're accidentally in love
Accidentally in love

Come on, come on
Spin a little tighter
Come on, come on
And the world's a little brighter
Come on, come on
Just get yourself inside her

Love ...I'm in love

Yet Another Direction

The Sound of Silence
P.Simon & A.Garfunkel

Hello darkness, my old friend,
Ive come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of
A neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one deared
Disturb the sound of silence.

Fools said i,you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you.
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon God they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the signs said, the words of the prophets
Are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls.
And whisperd in the sounds of silence.

Speaking for Itself

Here is a set of lyrics from "Mother Nature's Son". This Musician's music and words has been an inspiration and comfort to me for many years and saw me safely through many many stressful times.
Although this one singer is now silent.. there still is the truth of his songs. I, for one, Greatly miss his presence and messages.

On the Wings of a Dream
- J.Denver

Yesterday I had a dream about dying
About laying to rest and then flying
How the moment at hand is the only thing
We really own

And I lay in my bed and I wonder
After all has been said and is done for
Why is it thus we are here
And so soon we are gone

Is this life just a path to the place
That we all have come from
Does the heart know the way
And if not, can it ever be found
In a smile or a tear or a prayer
Or a sigh or a song

And if so, then I sing for my father
And in truth you must know I would rather
He were here by my side
We could fly on the wings of a dream
To a place where the spirit would find us
And the joy and surrender would bind us
We are one anyway
Anyway we are more than we seem

There are those who will lead us
Protect us each step of the way
From beginning to end
For each moment forever each day
Such a gift has been given
It can never be taken away

Though the body in passing must leave us
There is one who remains to receive us
There are those in this life
Who are friends from our heavenly home
So I listen to the voices inside me
For I know they are there just to guide me
And my faith will proclaim it is so
We are never alone

From the life to the light
From the dark of the night to the dawn
He is so in my heart
He is here he could never be gone
Though the singer is silent
There still is the truth of the song
In the song

Yesterday I had a dream about dying
About laying to rest and then flying
How the moment at hand is the only thing
We really own

And I lay in my bed and I wonder
After all has been said and is done for
Why is it thus we are here
...And so soon we are gone


Come And Let Me Look In Your Eyes
- J.Denver

I guess growin' isn't hard to do, just stand against the wall
Once I was just two feet high Today I'm six feet tall
But knowin' who to listen to, is somethin' else again
Words just whistle around my head like seasons in the wind

All across the water the clouds are sailin'
they won't let me look at the sky
All I want to do is try to find myself
Come and let me look in your eyes

In searchin' for the way to go I've followed all the rules
The way they say to choose between the wise men and the fools
I listened to the words they say I read what I should read
I do whatever's right to do Try to be what I should be

Someone let me in I think the sky is falling
Seems I've gotten lost on my way
All I want to do is try to find myself
Come and let me look in your eyes

But wisdom isn't underground, nor on a mountainside
Where am I to take myself, there's no place here to hide
Where can I hide

All across the universe the stars are
fadin' seems I've gotten lost on my way
All I want to do is try to find myself
Come and let me look in your eyes

Singing Songs

Here is one of my favories... probibly my only real favorite song of the band that created it. wish they had come up with a few more of these lovely pieces.

More Then Words by Extreme

Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words

Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words

songs and other such memorabillia

Lets see how many recall this rather old emo song..

SKIP A ROPE by Henson Cargill

Skip a rope skip a rope listen to the children while they play
Ain't it kinda funny what kids all say skip a rope

Daddy hates mama mama hates dad
Last night you should've heard the fight they had
Gave little sister another bad dream she woke up with a terrible scream
Skip a rope skip a rope...

Cheat on your taxes don't be a fool what was that they said about the golden rule
Never mind the rules just play to win and hate your neighbor for the shade of his skin
Skip a rope skip a rope...

Stab 'em in the back that's the name of the game
And mama and daddy are the ones to blame
Skip a rope skip a rope listen to the children while they play
It's not really funny what children say skip a rope
Skip a rope skip a rope

TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALLGAME

Nelly Kelly loved baseball games,
Knew the players, knew all their names,
You could see her there ev'ry day,
Shout "Hurray" when they'd play.
Her boy friend by the name of Joe
Said, "To Coney Isle, dear, let's go,"
Then Nelly started to fret and pout,
And to him I heard her shout.

"Take me out to the ball game,
Take me out with the crowd.
Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack,
I don't care if I never get back,
Let me root, root, root for the home team,
If they don't win it's a shame.
For it's one, two, three strikes, you're out,
At the old ball game."

Nelly Kelly was sure some fan,
She would root just like any man,
Told the umpire he was wrong,
All along, good and strong.
When the score was just two to two,
Nelly Kelly knew what to do,
Just to cheer up the boys she knew,
She made the game sing this song.

"Take me out to the ball game,
Take me out with the crowd.
Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack,
I don't care if I never get back,
Let me root, root, root for the home team,
If they don't win it's a shame.
For it's one, two, three strikes, you're out,
At the old ball game."

Horn Tooting

This is a pic I created for a linguistic group using psp. It took me several weeks for this one. It was worth it for the stunned smiles I got to see as a result. normally though, I prefer cartoons...

picture removed.

...kind of like this one. Which was a cartoon of a rp character in the world of asherons call. it is a play on the fact that they had whole swarms of nasty otholi bugs and huge lugian giants that most people leveled up thier characters on... and the poor occational roadside bunny which was rarely ever worth the efort. This character's name was Kitaya btw. she was a mace-user, hence the baseball bat.

picture removed

and my very first attempt at animation made for my very first set of webpages.

picture removed

(sooner or later, I'll start another webpage, and post a part of my portfolio on it. Untill then, I'll leave you to wonder.. were these pictures actually posted here in the first place? :)

A Few Good Animes

Here's a couple more good ones.

Elemental Gelade. Story of a younge sky pirate who descovers a magical girl, and offers to escort and guard her to her intended destination.
Fushigi Yuugi. A school girl falls through a book and lands in ancient china. She then takes on the title of priestess in order to save the country she is in.
Fruits Basket. A Tale of a girl who moves in with three guys (brothers in the Sohma family) on whose property she was camping on, as a housekeeper in exchange for room and board. She then inadvertantly learns of the Sohma family secret. This begins an adventure for her in learning more about the family members and the zodiac curse particulars.


Coud of Elemental Gelade


Tamahome in Fushigi Yuugi


Kyo Sohma of Fruits Basket

another bunch

Here's some more I have enjoyed.

Yakitate!! Japan. A tale of an artisan whose greatest dream is to create a unique bread.
Kamisama Kazoku. A story of an angel guardian who falls in love with the son of a god she is intended to protect. (it gets a bit deep towards the end when they encounter a soul-stealing devil... but it works out well in the end.)
Zero no Tsukaima. A struggling wizardess accidently summons a commoner from modern day Tokyo to be her familiar. (the familiar seems loyal to the wizardess rather in spite of the beatings she often gives him... but I think it's a fairly sound plot.)


Kazuma Azuma in Yakitate!! Japan


Louise the Zero and Saito Hiraga in Zero no Tsukaima


Tenko the angel, and Samatarou in Kamisama Kazoku

Anime kick

I am going through whatever anime I can find online...if it sounds of any interest whatsoever, to me, anyway. :)

D.N. Angel. Its about a boy who is raised as a thief by his mother and grandfather..but in all other respects he had a typical kid's life...until his 14th birthday... when Dark, the master shadow thief, came into his life.
Full Metal Panic. A teen raised as a merc, is assigned to protect a girl in a Tokyo school.
La Corda D'oro. A girl entering first year general in a music academy, meets a fairy who gives her a magical violin.
Karin. This is a story of a reverse vampire with a blood preference for misfortune. who, meets with a transfer student in school (whos unhappiness causes her quite a bit of grief). Add to this, one interfering grandmother, a vampire hunter schoolmate (who is in love), and a need for secrecy, and you got a highly amusing madcap tale.

Dark of D.N. Angel

Kurz Weber in Full Metal Panic


Kazuki Hihara, the trumpet player, in La Corda D'oro

Winner Sinclair in Karin

Also...

I try to keep up with several webcomics. Here are some of my favorites.

Order of the Stick Link
Girl Genius Link
Questionable Content Link
Flaky Pastry Link
Yet Another Fantasy Gamers Comic Link
Hellbound link
Purgatory Tower Link

idle moments

Hi. I have been spending a fair bit of time ruffling through an amazing amount of anime and manga of late. My favorites thus far are Naruto, Inuyasha, Tsubasa, Absolute Boyfriend and Lovely Complex. You'l likely to be hearing a bit more about these subjects before the month is out here.
For favorite characters...

It's hard to say for Naruto.. I like several of the characters in this manga. I suppose I could say though, that my favorites might be Shikamaru (for his genius.. and love for slacking off.), Jiraiya (for his funny attitude..as well as his rare serious moments) and Kiba. (because he is honorable and loyal to the people that matter to him.)

Absolute Boyfriend... I actually like the rivalry going on between the two main male characters in this story.

Inuyasha... I would probibly choose the wolf demon, Kouga. (He seems to be happilly drawn into verbal battles with inuyasha over poor kagome and yet it's easy to see he actually counts both of them as valued friends.)
Lovely Complex... I like Otani.. even if he -is- as dence as a brick wall. :)

In Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles Even though I know he has serious issues which he tries so very hard to keep hidden, I really like sweet Fai. (mostly for his little smiles, sad eyes, and fun moments in the face of such seriousness)

Kiba of Naruto.
Fai of Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle.

Kouga of InuYasha.

Atsushi Otani and Risa Koizumi of Lovely Complex.

Night Tenjo of Absolute Boyfriend.

nothing much

Been a rather long and totally boring several weeks with me. I have not a whole lot to talk about really. I did some personal redecorating and found myself standing in Konoha. (ehh don't ask)
All in all, its been a fairly nice place.. has a few nice people in it. just when I was really getting to know several of them, they left on mission or some other 'vacation-type' excuse. trying to not feel lonely though.
The 4th is nearly here once more. (super blehhks:( I'm not much of a fan for the holiday. no, it has nothing to do with my sence of patriotism or any such... just that I associate it with a past..very low time in my life. Makes it rather hard to see the fireworks sometimes... but I think perhaps I am better about it when I am around people...so I'm not as likely to get depressed and start bawling my eyes out or something.
Anyway, thats about it... Hope you all have a good 4th.

General Rant

I hate finding myself in the disagreeable position of being able to see both sides of a view point.. when I am on one side of it.

A city warning was posted at the door because someone has been complaining the grass in the backyard is a few inches too long.

on the one hand, I understand how people don't want a junkyard located in the middle of their neigborhood but.. doesnt this seem just a little bit overzelous? I mean, what did they do? get out a ruler and sneak over the back fence in the middle of the night to measure the grass blades?

There was one for a downed tree branch as well. not a big one, mind you.
and one for having a vehicle parked alongside the side fence.
I'm still waiting to get one for jaywalking across my front lawn... or.. getting one for actually having a tree.. obstructing binocular views of my porch.

Must be some seriously bored unhappy people around the neigborhood I live in. They are so bored of their own business they have to stick their noses over the fence to complain about mine. and here I always thought living in the countryside ment space.. a private life....

I guess I have to move further out.
Its too bad really. It's a really sweet place and in a nice spot too.

the blehs

here I am.. bored practicly to tears... nothing seems to catch my interrest of late. not even that of a really good book. I'm in something of a quandry as to which way to turn next. which direction I should go... and getting nowhere with all the indesision. Sure hope I can pull myself back out of the middle of the doldrum swamp soon. this situation gets really old with me fast.

stunned sorrow

Wow... I am once again stunned by the cold ferocity potential in people. Even though I have have been through soo mamy lows and highs of life's hardships, I always seem to feel so very sheltered and somehow oblivious upon hearing of such horrible violent news... that could, and has, happened in normaly mundane and peaceful enviroments.

My heart goes out to those who have suffered at the hands of such senceless anger as seen in the news of late, as well as to thier families whose grief cannot be measured in mere words.


I recall a time... when I found myself unwittingly under the iron fist of abuse. It took me many years to get over the hurt, anger and pain of it all.. untill I gradually realized... they might be now beyond the laws of man, but they hurry so, to face the ultimate judge's ruling, for which they shall be made acountable... no escape, no fast-talkin deals.

I'm actually glad of this, because I am certain I would make a terrible judge, already biased, as I am, against them. I'm afraid I'd be tempted to do something to them quite a bit lower, or at least as vile as they did to thier victims. Not something I'm pleased to admit, but at least its truthful eh?

Soo..for some reason, finally groking this, has caused me to release the grudge I harbored inside. I no longer feel the pained-anger quite so much. Rather, I simply feel profound saddness that such things happen. Sad that, in defence for my own future, I have had to stuff a year or so of my growing years into a mentally bound-up 'box' and stash it in the blocked-off 'painfull-moments' section of my mind, so I can get on with living.
Yeah, I forgive them for being such infernal idiots.. and will leave it up to the bigguy to deside what, if anything, should be done with them in life's aftermath.

Besides, holding all the bitterness inside was just eating me up, not any help whatsoever, so it was with some relief that I finally got shed of it.

Oops_there she goes again

Once more, the random ill-timed portal has swept me away from my home in Dereth and I have found myself standing outside the gates, sadly looking in. Who only knows how long it will be before I can once more respond to Asherons Call. Bleh.. I'm feeling lonely already!
I may be something of a fool at times, but this isn't much of an April joke. heh.. Guess Its time to slide back into the saddle on another "gamin" pursuit. I'll get back to you on this, I'm sure.

Sorry for the long time between posts, btw.

Another portal

Welcome to the first of another month.

This evening, Indy and I were enjoying a moments respite at the villa, trying to gather the rest of the household in one place and settle old squabbles. When urgent news came to us that the Prince of Dereth was going to try to open a portal to Bur... a strange land that dear asheron had been taken when he was abducted by the new undead. (I was wondering just where those nasty critters were coming from!) Indy desided to go help out and ran off to the summoning site outside holt.

She was on her way up the hill when a whole group of very nasty creatures hissed into being around and behind her. thankfully, the warrioress knew to beat feet, and she zowwed through the essembly, trailing unliving horror in her wake.

After a quick turn-about, she joined in the fight, helping to mow over several bunches of the undead spell-casters.. then just as she thought she might just make it through to the portal's opening, her world halted and the next thing she knew, she was standing at the lifestone.

Under previous agreement, I shed bunches of things weighing me down for a dash to the site to see what help I could give. I got there just as the portal went up and watched as several of Dereth's finest and fittest warriors carefully stepped through, leaving me enveloped in the silence of aftermath.

I found Indy's body, lying near the portal steps along with several others who had died protecting the prince.

There are those, who growl and complain about such massive events like this one, even while it is yet going on. It was a needed thing though. We had the one chance..
Was it better to have remained ignorant of this opportunity of rescue? the nay-sayers seem to think so.

Asheron is needed... safe, and away from the decaying claws and screeing enemies of all of Dereth.
To the warriors who answer the call, as well as those who scorn the action.. this means life and freedom for all of us. I'm not really sure why you doomsayers cry so loudly at times.

Strange how it all seems something of a reflection of another battle... ongoing even now. Sure makes one wonder, doesn't it?