and another thing..

A lot more things to give up. Good gravy, this phone is in a sad state.

Twas brillig and the slithy tove... i wish.

no time askin others for a bit of a fix and redo so i need to wait or it aint worth it to so much as try. Unless i insulted someone. In which case i probably had it comin. ....

I need thicker skin. Especially concerning friends. I think i understand the general gripe now, Dino. Still.. its pretty bad to be lumped together and thrown out like so much garbage. Even if its desurved. Its just bad form. Not everyone is the same. Still makes me sad to lose you like that. I had nothing to do with your sudden issue. Yet you still cowardly zoomed off. Bad deal. Seems to have made a lot of bad streaks/mistakes in my life as well.  Still don't know if i'll ever be able to live it down. 

I do know ive had it with hope in storage. Not worth the effort. Ive lost too much.

Next chapter?

pumpkins and autumn leaves

I can feel the stress starting to mount once again. Lots of waiting,and going nowhere. Depending on others. 

Feeling perpetually behind unable to keep up a lot lately. Been sooo confused. Cant even seem to make much sence to me. Its like im trying to learn to speak swahili to an actual native only gailic speaker. I cant understand any part of it! Maybe i could use a different perspective because i can see how negative  feeling i can be... all the fripping time! so... 

heres a subject... church.

Something i really enjoy, is hearing bible stories from people. I liked playing doodle wars or making cards while I listened. I like ocational potluck/ games/ gatherings/ celebrations /movies with family and friends, especially when i feel ready. (Like clothing, shoes, gift, food, a plan etc) i enjoyed a sunday plan like... going to the library... a lazy day plan to a park or mall to people watch. A plan to outdoor picnic... with chicken...bbq...hothogs burgers.. bean salad... pie....etc hmm

 

Pushing ones self back into perspective... if we - drop all other things for the needs of the most... we have to get frank paid or we cant leave where we are. Lots to put into perspective. Theres not much time to consider. And lots yet to throw out. Some things, including dreams, have already been put to forever pasture. Sad to say.

flowers and flute, its been a fine day.

This day started grumpy with lots of doing nothing really. Guess i was battling my patience and not wanting to put wraps on my feet.. yet not wishing to cause such a stir either. Im grateful, really, anyone was willing to help at all. we all went to a mall we haddent seen since before all the restrictions..it was nice to see it still functioning. Even doing well. Went to a convience shop afterward and didnt see the help arrive to escort me out of the car untill there was a dark bronze arm offered to at me. Embarrissing and so nice.

Went to the golf place again to lunch with a friend. Tripped on the flagstones and fell on my face. I was ok tho aside from a bruised ego. Now i dont really want to wear the shoes. Was at the guys sports park last night. It was ok. But this morning is another matter. Sun is on full shine again and i'm baking already. Still cant aford to leave or stay either. Narrow edge of collapse is a constant companion.

Bad luck always seems to follow good, however slight, And as we know.. bad luck travels in packs. Currently its the usual cant aford anything, including gas or food. Starter/ignition, are both having major issues. problems with legeleeze demanding more money and a light is out. 

Some things.. no matter how you think them urgent, or needed, shouldnt be spoken of with others. Itl never be understood the way you ultimatly hope. Might as well drop it before the bigger fool turns out to have been you all along. Surprised? Yeah, i know, i know. It feels like the time now is very close, indeed. 

Bleh..i detest being ill. 

  Its another day. Just like the ones before. Im grumpy. Been sick..still havent gotten over the cough. Things seem like they are spilling over again. Bad news is mounting. Im stressing. Maybe thats it really. Im just stressing..that somehow its all just me. I dont know. I feel overwhelmed.

Finally found another stopping point and once again the car was turned off. Once again as the saying goes..never the same way twice. And so once again, it didnt work out. But we have a room...until fri anyway. And frank says to bring it to him and he will have it back to us when its fixed. (Keyword:fixed) so ive been a bit grumpy for it all. I still dont much like having to live purely on a wing and a prayer.

another b-day come and gone...

Slowly, it seems, small desperate thoughts, little dreams of vapor. Gone before theres ever a conscience dream or memory. Its only four and once again i cannot keep it in. 

I fear again this very early morning, that its all going to end and we will be pulled assunder for another chapter of shadow. We have nothing  but the car now and thats not even fully ours. We are ever on borrowed time. 4 turned a lonely one far to easilly. And ever, it seems, nowhere to go. What has hsppened? I hear you whisper... well, nothing spectaculer really.

The lumner got peohd about an unauthorized night stay.. which i wasnt too happy about either. Left everything stranded for the weekend then gave us the bad news. The job that was a lest resort has peterd out and cannot any longer be obtained. The car itself has given us trouble to start.. in that it wouldnt. Paid a price we could barily manage.. and when it wouldnt go once again, the guy who fixes it said "thats odd." We have gone to other churches. Im not entirely sure why. At one point, was on zoom calls... not anymore? Got yelled at by a security grouch because the car wasnt going anywhere. Untill someone gave us a tow across the parking area. And im sitting here turning green because i aparrently got sidelined and now its too late...unless i can wait until 5. A little thing. Was going to get a peach cobbler. Couldnt aford it tho. Was going to leave and got the bag back with a "blessed day."

Yeah..car is out again. not starting from this mornings wakeup. Is this, then, that day we join the walking homeless masses? 

Well, we were stuck at the truckstop next to the freeway 4-5 sun-filled baking days because someone oopsd and turned off the car. And because we were rather south of the city no one would rescue us for anything less than $300?something. Honestly thought for a time there, this was the end of the journey.. before it really began. But no.. a new friend from o'reily's had and answer the we needed to get back on the road. Now, we could use some off franks help.

end of the line or just the start?

    I really miss blue. He was an inspired friend an amazing minecraft builder, and bestest buddy, ive ever had. I sooso so wanted to build more together..whole towns, sea front constructions and filled out city life. Mountainous fortresses, underground communities, ..  gardens and farms. I could have learned soo much! I really wanted to!  And then came a day and he was just...gone. no fare-ye-well, no good-riddence-to-bad-rubbish. Nothing, just.. gone. I miss blue a lot.

So.. today was eventful..and i dont mean that in a good way, i took a spill in a totally embarrising way. I mean..i splatted, face first, in a public place. And hurt a rib. Before i could really finish the thought, i was howling over having to lift a leg up into the car. Really concerned some of the people around me too. Im mortified. I still ache..it hurts to take a deep breath. I feel like a cramped statue.

There is a thought to start a sort of travellog..talking about neat things along the way of getting to see various counties in america. I dont know really, im kinda a chicken when it comes to starting stuff. Hm. I should have called this the catsoap box.. seems to fit better than does whatever i called It originally.

Realisticly...theres just too many issues gathering too quickly into a tsunami over my  head. I am forever overwhelmed.

As it is with this idea.. dont fully get how its sposta work out. I want it light - hearted. With a fun-loving personality, and it cannot mesh with how its governing body wants it to be rl. Which sounds perfectly boring and biting to me. Oh well.  

There are just some things you shouldnt try to talk about with people, no matter how badly you need to get it out there. No matter how you think you are close enough to talk about anything with. It just isnt a good idea. People arnt really in support. Not really. They dont look or listen to your ideas. They look to themselves most of the time, it seems. And so they look to themselves. Its just the way of it, i suppose. And talking to them about a shared idea just isnt on the same level.

Wish the rain would come back. Even just a day of drool or sprinkles.

A kind of last moment happening. First only time happening. I actually opened the car door of a stranger today. Where the heck was my awareness??!  Am i really showing signs of brain degradation? Really?

getting lost in thoughts.

Not sure just where to start..or end here. It isnt just forgetting things.. it isnt just forgetting but losing all the links to things.

The grand mugwump .. had a condition which he may have shared with me. And im not real sure i apreciate it. Not that i believe he did so with full cognition, mind you. Not sure he even knew what was happening. Such a gradual thing really. Its little things that slip by. What was that word? Guess ill remember it later...just need to keep it in mind. What was..uh.. getting ..keeping focused.. one thing at a time, now. I remember her, of course i do.. just.. uh.. i know her face.. just cant recall at the moment... simple things.. ohyeah..she was.. wasnt she..? -Sigh- i couldnt recall her name just then, thats all. Or i might..verbaly be talking to someone and suddenly realize, i might be mumbling incoherently or sluring my words, having to pause for a moment, take a breath, and start again. Hoping i remembered the reason i started the topic and its importance. Setting a plate down and being told theres another plate under it... recalling a song i was fond of, and hearing myself singing completely off key! Or being asked if i remember someone...who looked familiar. Im so confused! I looked at a sentence, looked again...and again... couldnt remember the sentence... or misremembered it. The other day, i watched three movies on tv ...went to tell someone and couldnt recall the title of the third one...at all. Getting soo angry because someone didnt recall how much i have a problem with being alone after dark. Why did they not know that? Why was it even theyr problem to recall that in the first place? And at other times, i can recall an unresolved problem i had, like it was yesterday. With such sharp biting detail, even. And yet i get such confusion when its not recalled by who im talking to about it. (It wasnt that long ago! ... was it? ) of not  recalling even a word of what i studied and written down several times over the course of several years. 

And by being unclear and frightened of..where do i go from here?

Use it or lose it does apply here.. doesnt it?

And just as random... i have lost a lot of faith in keeping things in storage. If i have to put the smallest thing in..it is automaticly at 80% of never being seen again.

Annd since there seems to be nothing but pain in asking, on both sides of an issue, im going to redouble my efforts to no longer ask. Its not worth efforts and has always lacked importance.

random words..or are they?

Words.....

Spitefulness, stinging, anger, snot, piss, vinegar,  ungratefulness, unhappiness, bitter, blame, self-righteous, indignation, negativity, pessimistic, offence, regret, violence, 

In use...

The ungrateful snot. Never learning from mistakes, own worst critic, Laughing at vs laughing with.Tears of the crocodile. Pointing fingers, burdens to sholder. Whose fault is it. One-sided viewpoint. Not listening. Can't/won't see. 

Possible replacements....

Love, bright, light, simplistic, a new day, a better attitude, positivity, forgiveness, 

Someone, somewhere said... Let it go.

another time around the wheel

The changing of the seasons. From the spin cycle to broilling. And still nothing to show. And, as usual, nowhere to go from here.

 Was watching the blacklist 4th season... he was a good bad guy. She was unforgiving...completely. somethings/people are like that, i suppose. Dont give a chance when it really matters. Different perspectives.

I had to leave the portal i have been hanging out at. Someones being a monopoly barron, and getting away with it. Nothing i can do. Already low. And yet all the minor mugwumps are still complaining over a lack of opp, for them. Heh. Still years done and gone are forever being dredged up as if they were new news. There was no apologizing then and theres nothing now as well. Just more of the same. Like a tiny winged pest pf a skeeto flying up your nose again and again. Theres not even a single portal around any longer... and im soo tired of trying.

bad news travels in packs

Had an event, middle of the night. People saw flames.. and the electricity took a dive for several days. So its cold, wet and dark.. and im alone. probably a worst fear for me to experience. At my age, youd have thought id already gotten past childish fears like this but...alas.. its an uncertain time.. and no real security. ... ill hang on somehow and will look back at this and maybe roll my eyes. Crap just keeps happening! How frustrating. Merry christmas!

Its the new year and nothing has changed. Its the same old struggle. Ive been trying to stay "checked out" feeling like change is coming, but not for the better. And yet, trying soo hard to not look. As if by not looking, i can deny its existence. I want to talk and yet theres nothing for me to say... and the feeling like theres no one to say it to anyway. Too busy, too sick, too blind.

another day, another space.

Think im finally getting kinda used to it. Its not the best side of life in the no-zone..its not even close to it, but its amazing what one will put up with really, just to continue standing upright. Even as i still kind of empathize with the so sad dude in the tent. What a huge pile of dead lemons... not even worthy of lemonade. And yet.. the portal is still there. I can still make out its promise by its electric purple glow and swirl. Just seems really lonely atm and i dont want to take it. Last moment jitters before the plunge into icy waters, i suppose. So i keep on keeping on..hoping for something a little better. Heres to tomorrows hope!

Today, darks and i descovered,that someone has land-grabbed our village at blue portal. I first questioned chat as to the rules related just how far away from another claim one needs to be. They insisted one block. So i flipped by orange to speak with loopy.. but she was leaving and sent another, Zy, to do the job in her place. Zy suggested we send the interloper a msg and ask them to vacate. Zy said if they refuse well just have to expand in one of the other directions. (Since they are within 100 blocks.. and was on earlier that day.)  We sit at the edge of a plains biome, facing a whole lot of ice spikes. I was diapointed to hear that, about having to expand into the ice again.. (I think i was also having a rather cruddy day) having run head-first into my expectations, i pretty much packed up on blue, rather like i felt like doing on green portal. It wasent the day to be in the portals at all, i suppose. I was at low energy as it was and i was straining to maintain my neutrality. So i left blue then..darks was giving me a "who cares" aditude..which prolly should have been my m.o. as well but, damn it all! I did care! I was pissy!. So i moved over to green to sulk a bit and what to my wondering eyes should apear but a huge ugly wall just beyond my claim. Fog claimed his reason was he had found a trials chamber, and did some mining. I had the thought that i should just delete claim and go find another spot. But..instead, i went to mangrove base and added to the claim there. Darks and i were on different sides about that spot. She left it before i did. And confessed she wasnt going to stay next to the wall...maybe visit once in awhile but not stay. So atm.. im thinking of unattaching claim to both blue and green portals. Sigh.. i dunno.. guess ill just let go of the village the clear most of my sweet house in the snow and let it sit awhile.

Have to give the mangrove another look. Maybe clear it out a bit.. prepare it to be abandoned.

another day of summer heat.

Feeling a tiny bit sorry for myself today..i just spent several days alone and the moment i have to excercize my voice (to talk) with someone in the  room with me, i get the oh gawd, roll-eyed, long suffering look, complete with sigh.. And they headed off again, saying little to me. And im back to being alone again. I guess i dont have anything of any worth to say. Either that or somebody is being a crappy friend.  Maybe both. My eyes hurt as well.. which hasnt improved my mood. Happy day indeed.

continuing drama

      Same sort of situation in a different spot. At least the wrapping looks a little different. Starting all over again still smarts.. and even the new portals are making me think again, if its worth the look-see.

I read a short story the other day. It started out simple and grey and before i realized it, it got all mud-bogged. It wasnt a very good story really.  It was about two best friends and a third, who they both thought was such a good friend at first, who sowed seeds of hate between them. And who ended up blackmailing and defrauding them both while they blamed eachother for the problem and the loss. In the end, with thier very lives at stake, only then, that they realize the truth of it all.

Its was bad at the start and only seemed to get worse and worse as the story went on. You can just imagine the ending before it did.

Adressing a concern.. Dude! You were doing so well!  But the %'s  were a terrible tell. How disapointing you are.. such high hopes too. Now i hear you saying this is the right path, but im not the only one able to tell its not what wed agreed upon. What happened to you? You sound like them now. You give thier talking points the highest numbers when you know thats not what you said when you got the job. You just..changed your mind...viewing that as more important than anything you promised.. without even talking it over first?!! What kind of 'stick to yer guns,' is that? In with a deturmened roar and out with a cluck. You cant even claim now to be doing better than the guy you replaced...because you are sounding as bad as him right now. Maybe worse. Because you arnt even pretending to hold the line.. you folded like a weak cardboard chair. And to think, i was still of the mind to support your struggle with comprimise until i saw your idea of  percentages asked for. Thats pretty low. I can see why peoples are pretty upset with you now.

*Humphs and steps off the soapbox, kicking spilled kittylitter everywhere as she does so*

Also got a call from someone i rather value.. i didnt catch the call and.. they should call back. Altho a part of me doesnt want to hear what its about. The only real reason, i can think of, that this person would reach out to me, like this, is if the news is bad.

 I fell on my butt, financially, about a year or so ago, and am only just now back up to a low crawl. Cant aford to stop everything to go deal with bad news right now. I'll drown!

Aahem... Other news is.... Yeah.. a new spot... New wrapping. Trying to not burn out the portal. Keeping busy has gotten ...dull, tho.

I found an old portal and reconnected with it from a new spot. I have seen a few neigbors that were not there before.. not sure if they are active tho. I have raised a few walls, added a little farm and cleared a few trees. I even added a few tree tops to the hilltops and a couple sheep to make noise so it doesnt seem so lonely. Not sure what else to do really. Just... Keep going, i guess.

Its at times like this, that i hear the sirens most clearly. Should run from sirens, right? Ive ever been the sort of person who detests being where she isnt wanted anyway. Where to go though? I mean really. Its down to the pickle and the dead fish.

You ever get the 'waiting in a holding pattern' .. feeling?  I seem to feel that most of the time these days. Im growing ssoo tired of waiting...

Merry and Chris the Mouse

 Happy happy Tiz the season! ... This year is pretty much a day like any other, to me anyway. Somehow that seems to be the way it goes in recent years.  

well.. maybe it was just getting underway. 

maybe i should hide before thing -really- get going.

christmas was basic but really nice, in a lowkey kind of way.

New years was a dashing disaster zone. sure hope thats not indicative of the whole year to come.

never the less.. Ive the mood (likely in spite of my annoying keyboard) to write. I came across a rp posting-board that reminded me of forgottenworld times...and a small village with some strange and yet comfy? townfolk. so guess i could just start anywhere really. mght need to consider where to put it though... hmm

A question in thought

 Scanning the news earlier, someone had asked. Name something you are tired of. It didnt take much time at all to come up with several answers to that one. jumping to immedant thought was,how tired of this laptop skipping letters, n spite of my best efforts to be clear as to which letters i am pressing... i still have to go back over every other sentence with a corrective eye. so, beyond the usual typos, im sayng a quick frustrated sorry for all the missing ''i"s and spaces.

ahem..'m tired of all the struggle for day to day living going on. especially at the low level i am on. Soo many people are struggling for smple necessities, like a loaf of bread or  a living day to day wage. there are no real jobs for the unsklled that pays enough to even support the day to day. ts not a wonder there are whole cities of homeless.especially those with an actual tent. seriously. and those cities are growng every day, more and more people are filng in, having no other where to go, starving, and destitute. and to think, ts not just where i am, but all over the world. what brought us to this..new low in the burden of existence? I'll bet you can make a pretty good guess. how are we to fix it, I wonder. Its enough to make a person very paranoid me-thinks.

.........

In other thoughts. new game to talk about. Sun Harvest. its a farming game only..a whole lot more. ts often compared to a great game called Stardew Valley.and i can certainly see why. it has, soo many skills/professions.. like exploring, mining, crafting, combat, tailoring,cooking, questing, carpentry, a moving and engaging storyline as well as farming. if you likr farming games,check out the Sun Harvest gameplay on youtube sometime. its well worth the effort to look.

In Comment? no comment -.-

 Had a conversation the other day that got me thinking. It was a conversation about the new leader in chief.. of the 'free' world. I was told the person was an a-whole.. and the worstest in the business. I simply couldn't agree. The reason was not because of the name-calling.The fellow probably IS an a-whole... certainly I don't think he would make a good friend. but... because being a leader n chief has little to do with a personality, and everything to do with his ability to lead.. His polices are what makes the job.and if nothing else, he has proven that his policies work well for everyone he leads. he has put a check on all who have and would take advantage of us. he has shown the world strength and a united solidarity and independence that might have made past leaders pleased of the accomplishments. many others looked up to us.

In comparison, his opposite may just be the nicest sounding guy on the planet, but his policies have proven, hes no-one's hero. His policies have led us into a horrible spot on the world stage.He has drained our resources nearly dry and has given nearly all of our hard earned assets away. and when he couldn't get all of us to agree with him, he encouraged new peoples to come.. friends, enemies, legitimate and not. We didnt know any of them,they overran the border,and when we complained that there were terrorists and cartels, rape, and trafficking, and deadly drugs, he ignored us and further put the screws on, by going all soft on wrongdoers, and letting them out to roam the streets. His policies and spending, started the rise to the economy.. making good jobs that would support peoples living, harder to find by making everything more expensive to get while still keeping stiff competition with all the newcomers. many people have lost much if not all, and have been driven to destitution and desperation by these policies.

and this person sits there and tells me the a-whole is the worst? I'm sorry. i think not.When it comes down the the core of the issue I'd rather an a-whole with good solid policies that work for the benefit of those he leads, than a nice guy with beyond crappy policies that don't work and knowing he couldn't benefit the people he's leading if they were all standing right dab in front of him dressed in rags and pleading. 

Just look at him people!

The bloody emperor has no clothes!!.

why is it, when friends figure out you didnt follow thier own viewpoint about something, they suddenly no longer wish to really talk with you?i mean, other thanthat one thought, you get along fine. and  this one thing only being a talking point and not something earth shattering. I just think friendship is more important than this. am i the only one who thinks so?  change my mind.

Edit 2 .... Ok.. should i learn to no longer open my mouth when im trying to be light in a dark space with a friend?

Think i just got blocked for a well and fun-intentioned ribbing mid conversation.

Laughing at ones-self and Drago Noka

One step at a time, right? baby steps. 

Ok thankfully you don't have to read through each of the gimps (laptop) crazy word/sentence smashes before I then go back and iron out again. Having nothing else for it, A fair bit was done in the online Minecraft World I have found myself stuck in of late. 

 I have been working rather diligently on a village I have dubbed Meepsburg. The village originally had 2, just two, villagers, with about maybe 4 buildings when it was first come across. A tiny little fishing spot situated between three biomes, with a huge rift right through the middle of the space. Farmers attempting to use the farm plot where falling into the rift.. which was a crack n the lands surface created by a nearby volcano who had, some years before the village, settled into pumping a constant and consistent flow of lava into the underground caverns. 

The first thing on the agenda therefor, was to somehow make the hill safe to travel on. Once fences were up and the remaining villagers, were prevented from joining prev neighbors at the bottom of the narrow cliffs and into the vast underground network of caverns, work was started on development. Houses were erected, A small smithy was created, a safe crop farm was put in place and a storage room was shoveled out of the hill. 

Over time, the village grew and became a town. It developed a bit of an import/export business on one side.. 

District 1 brought forth an abundance of food and wood created in the rich soil. on the other side, 

District 2, known area-wide for its desert market, and offering bounties of its rich underground minerals mining trade. 

The main village and hub of the now bustling town had developed its paper trade and a port, where most of the seafaring traders docked. At the end of the refurbished dock, was an eclectic inn and tavern, situated near the lighthouse..A hot spot for sailors and merchants to relax away the evening hours. Near the storage room, is a tall building, occupying the rift area, which houses the alchemists, cartographer, and potions/brewing room (serving both the inn and the market). This effectively replaced the town's previous all-things-magical witch's tower of previous times, located on the hill. Its a serious wonder the dilapidated building is still standing having outlived its owner long ago. 

 

There has also been discovered a new old offline portal to a place called Drago Noka. Its a splendid little builder with what has to be the most confusing set of directions and how-tos(there are few to no how-tos or help for this one) on.. just about all of it but the theme story... living on the back of a turtle dragon. I am going to have to show you the notes I have gathered at some point, on this one, as it is a terrific little building game, and worth the effort, i think, to make a basic tips and useful help page for the entirely lost, like i have been..😆

Drago Noka 

If you are trying to play the game and are lost, Hope these tips help as there isn't a whole lot of information out there and there doesn't seem to be at all in the game. I have heard that Switch is really the platform to play this game effectively on.

ok.. finding things out as i go along. 

There is no Mouse support so I have to use the keyboard.This is my setup.I will use these keys to explain how to find and do things in the game. 

C on the keyboard is set to "confirm". this key lets you talk to the villagers. C will open a chest/box and will also move -one item- in a stack into or out of the chest 

X key is "sub" it will 'use' your tools..(which are on numbers 1-9 +0.) also X will, when looking in a box, move -all- of a stack into or out of the chest inventory. X and arrow keys together will roll/drag ore. 

Z will 'Cancel' and it will open 'options' menu. giving you (along with use of the arrow keys) access to your notebook saves, tools, building, management, housing etc. menues. Z will also list villagers and Mimimi's general tasks/request lists. 

Q and E will cycle through your hotbar of tools. 

 Arrow keys are used for walking direction and choosing something on the game's options wheels. 

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The drill is hard to figure out. Set it up outside, wait for the -full- count downto end. then remove drill and add stairs. (from the build menu) Going Further down? cant use the drill, need to find a hole..somewhere near to a glowing mushroom maybe? 

 Moving ore. click and hold 'confirm" C and a direction arrow, while standing next to the ore,(your attention box on the ore.) You can then either push it forward in front of you, or 'carry' it to the side, or back. Push it to the stairs where it will then bounce into your inventory. 

Also, try to remember, with most workbenches, there are two menus. If your wanted inventory item is missing from the one list, tap the 'Sub'/special X key to hopefully see the other. 

 Mostly don't fret about Grant (there is no time limit).. just don't forget the dragon-turtle. He needs food for growing and strength. the more processed it is, the better it is. His likes and dislikes change. so keep an eye on that. His nearness to other dragons and giants causes 'weather' to happen, in the form of rain, rocks, clay, and trees. special plants will sometimes appear... and bugs or 'pests' show up, like butterflies. If you see them, 'strike at' or 'catch' them, then use them with the mortar n pestle to refine them into element powder. 

Need a nearby pool of water to refill crop waterer. Put your attention box over water (with the waterer in hand) and 'confirm' to fill. 

To get refined Iron you must have built a blast furnace.(use the 'build' and special menus located with the 'cancel' Z button. same place that you have walls, roof, and flooring listed) 

Be sure to leave a free space or two in your chests.. as over time, free items are dropped off in them. 

 Healing potions take a mortar and pestle 'workbench'(to powder) as well as a test tube set (to liquefy) Needs be of the same rarity. 

Wood or cotton wool powder etc for lvl 1 sickness 

mushroom powder for level 1-2 

glow mushroom powder for up to 5. 

Dont forget to toggle normal/specialty ('sub' X key if needed. 

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its another title...

Its another high stress kind of day for me. I blame the economy really. There was a time.. not too long ago, where a single income could keep you in everyday, if min, living. Today though, jobs are in scarce supply and even two/three incomes cant seem to keep you in living. Im a day away from landing on my nose in the gutter of nowhere. Seriously. And what have i of value to show for it? Ignoble self destruction of fading away with no one whod even care to read these words? Yeah, i know.. a little fatalistic of me. But in this moment.. the possibility of a light at the end of the tunnel... Even if its a train,.. is long gone..all i see now, is darkness... And i lack so much as a flashlight... Nevermind a working one.

I feel a forboding as well, about this place that i have found myself in. That, even in this patch of darkness.. theres nothing beyond it either.

Im begging for foregivness here.. just in case, eh? I feel chills and such regret and sadness. And yet.. id just go back to the norm if i can. Wierd huh? And i also realize that i am likely making little to no sense to you right now. I think thats ok atm. I also think thats suprising to me. Hi!! Well enough of the rl situation crying... Ahem..

In the latest portal saga.. while its still there... Meepsburg continues to slowly grow. Took down the parking garage at last, in favor of the growing area tucked in the corner of district 1. Made the patchwork tavern/inn at the end of the pier with stairs leading down into a large underwater viewing area. Theres a cargo boat with a single sail resting at dock now.. and plans for an underwater horse path to view the ruins and the coral bed located just off the fishing dock. The processor is still... Uhm.. not worked on but for the water to power the place.. which looked kinda cool in the darkness with the frame in its lighter color. Maybe could add a little terracotta brown to the processor build. Maybe sometime yet in the future. 

Sigh.. what a lousey day.. days.. week.. weeks..month...year..time.... As the worm turns..

June bugs notwithstanding mainly because they arnt.. standing, that is.

Mostly just an update to the usual updates and whats interresting post. Going through a "im slightly bored" phaze. Not a whole lot is interresting to me right now. Thinking of just why i should start a webpage.. not sure whats the point..considering i already have this blog to keep me happy. And i have been for some number of years now. (Thanyas blogspot for being so nicely stable) so theres at least that. I have been on a drawing 'out' for nearly as long as i have been on a pen n paper game 'out'. 

Well.. i am still doing stuff in minecraft. 

I have been building on a town, Meepsburg, that sits between three biomes.. desert, plains, and a warm ocean. Its a little village thats grown into three districts. The main district..which is fishing, magic, and storage. district one, which is farming, (vegetables, meats, trees) and district 2, which is mining/ market. Beside the town, is a large 'bubbling' volcano. It has a high wall of rock on the townside and most of the lava slides down the side and under district 2. The otherside has a bit of a lake..now a steaming one.. geothermal. it slides over into the very very deep water between the town and a patch of swamp. That high wall on the volcanos side, has thus far, kept the district one safe from the volcano's main export. The lava slides into a crevace and into the underside caves of district 2.. and the mines. There, the villagers have an elevator and track to deliver ores to be processed and refined. (Currently being worked on) from there, the ore goes up to the surface to be made into weapons armour and tools etc. Such are often then sold at market and from there sent on to other ports (Which i have yet to develop in the main district) or caravan (also yet to develop in district 1) also working on finishing a wall around the waterside to keep the town safe from the roving pillagers from the north.

And here comes 1.20. itl be nice to see the hanging signs.. and the new blocks cherry and bamboo.

As well, i am thinking of trying to resurrect my single-player game of castletowns...using 1.20... i dunno tho.. single-player seems sooo lonely all the time. 

Well.. i found a portal.. located a tiny taiga village.. but i am suffering some really odd lag.. (which could be a sign of laptop limits). 

We will see if it goes anywhere.. need to get hold of a keyboard and a wired mouse or two. .. maybe a small monitor... Maybe thats what ill do with the pages.. show my progress in pictures and story. Hmm.

gets out the litterbox...

Not feeling the greatest today. gots a few issues with a minecraft server i have been visiting the last year or so ago. Its a pretty nice place really... All in all. Just... 

Im not one who can nor is willing to stay up with the Jones'.. so to speak. Im not one who is up on the latest mcmmo perks of the rank and knows..or even cares how to take advantage of it. Maybe im just getting to be an old player or something. I dont have an 'in' with who says what in the place. I just.. go my own route, i guess. I gather resources, its my go-to for stress relief, i suppose. Im no wizard with knowing what everything is worth... Kind of wish i did... What prices to set... Or just why i should try. I just want a bit of space in which to put things so i can gather such and at pace..put them where others can get them. But mentally, its like im missing a duck....so they arnt all in a row..and i dont want to start until they are. But they never are. Not for me, at any rate. It also seems like i feel a need to talk to someone about all of this...someone whod understand.. but there is no person like that. Certainly not without bugging them to care about it when they have a ton of other issues of their very own, they are having to sort out.

 So i sit here..feeling like im on the edge of something i have never been able to reach. ..to reach understanding ANd why it should matter to me...but uh.. thats too deep to have words for. 

*Shifts the litter around a bit to change stance.* (Soap-box/ litterbox for a cat.)

Ok.... Ahhem .. my issue is.. specifically, that im not savvy enough to be up on all the perks and particulars of.. not of minecraft, but of the server im on. 

Part of me resists,.  Because knowing all this new stuff ties me into this server world in special. Ill get dependent...like i might already be.  Part of me is scared. Thinking i wont be happy being here anymore.. but cant swing away without tearing things..like friendship, apart. And i dont make friends easily as it is. To the point i end up putting my words and concern on repeat...looking for a way to get them across that missing duck and into understanding... 

 

Ohh and here i am again..just sitting here. Bleh. Im cold. Going back to bed.

up in the air...

Is it Febuary already? Chaotic weather patterns is telling me its spring as well.. time marches ever onward. And what about those "things" in the air? Did they pop up like spring flowers one year when no one was watching? Are they in some sort of holding pattern..or just...floating there on the outskirts of where-evers important? Are they like mini versions of the fabled black knight? Are they spying on the merecats in the prairies or the polar bears of the north? Perhaps they are end portals leading off to the abandoned citys of that realm? 

.....

Speaking of portals, i took a peek into one of the portals of minecraft... Not much has been done by its owner.. but i suppose theres no real rush. The experimental village still has but a space dug out for expansion... Nothing that i could see, going on there. But for a house atop the smithy area. Good way to stay cozy on those nippy mornings..just stay on the aware for sparks. The bee city is still changing faces.. there has been a bit of expansion in both districts. Cow and sheep pens.. and marketplace tents. From the board info.. the wall might be next on the list.. or possibly the dam. Going to be a big project there. There was also a bit of overheard talk of sign removal at the manor... Maybe a second scrapping of a public portal.

I feel a bit creaky and grouchy today. Hope yaalls days is better than mine. 

Portals arnt behaving for me again.. being flickery and not at all stable.

Lots of little annoying setbacks. Am considering, again, finding a portal to something of a null space..but its lonely there after a bit. Kind of funny in a way.. i want to listen to people talking, and give them things once in awhile but mostly, thats it. Its like i want to know they are there..to hear them chatter..but like some sort of sullen child, i dont want to have to be a part all the time. Theres just simply not enough space tho!! Ok, yeah, i know that last didnt make much sence. I apologize.

Today, this far, i have only peeked through the portal to see the build progress going on at bee2 minecraft village. Id say.. very very slowly, is my answer. its ok. No pressure either way. The villagers are still trying to figure where would be a good place to be  they seem to like the wall removal that happened in district 2. A new temperory wall is going up to keep out the riffraff. .. its about knee high...itl keep the local critters from stomping all over the tents of the marketplace tho. And the villagers still seem to feel safe enough that they are still found hanging around the area after dark. .. or maybe they are hoping for new housing to go up so they have a place to hide. Hard to tell just which it is with villagers. Had a dream of a very small castlehouse at the top of the hill..itd be directly between district 1 and 2, Making it a perfect spot really. Just lacking the modivation really.. and maybe a clear clear idea as to what it should look like, would help.

Ugh..eyes hurt..ok..not hurt hurt..more like, ache. Uncomfy. Well.. maybe another peek, eh? Nothing better to do.