Nother anime/manga ...

Skip Beat


Ren Tsuruga

A shōujo manga with a first season listed in anime.
Story of a rather idealistic young girl being given a rude awakening by a childhood friend with his sights set on topping the music charts. In an effort to gain revenge, she gets signed up with a rival agency to become an actress.

__________

Toradora


Ryūji and Tiaga

The plot is a bit like Lovely Complex, which I saw first. its another "highschool" shōujo story about two mismatched students who decide to help one another gain their respective love interest's attention... only to discover they loved eachother best.
__________

Code Geass


Lelouch

Great series.. with a rather sad ending. This one is about a group of school students caught up in the struggle of superpowers and self-identity.. as well as those who possess the power of Kings and its widespread influence upon people.
All in all, its a bit like the tale of V. I'd watch this one again. Zero FTW!

bah!

"So this is Christmas, and what have you done
Another year over, and a new one just begun
And so this is Christmas, I hope you have fun
The near and the dear one, the old and the young"
-John Lennon

The Christmas season is upon us all once again, and I feel none of its glow. not even a glimmer really of supposedly happy anticipation for opening gifts on Christmas day (or eve, if that's how you do it) for seeing relatives you haven't seen in a long time, over great feasts, joyful chatting and game playing. I feel not a single iota and I wonder to myself just how long things have been thus for me, to struggle to find so much as a smile and having to 'fake joy' for others to see so they don't demand to know what could be wrong. I guess I can rather identify with scrooge's state of mind this year. I'm sure its all of this dreading and waiting getting to me.

"What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer; a time for balancing your books and having every item in 'em through a round dozen of months presented dead against you?" -A Christmas carol

well here it is... and then some.

just for informations sake.. the guy I mentioned battling with a few posts back or so.. has ended. I felt forced into making a decision really. I feel I was given an ultimatum. and as we -all- know, those -never- go well. I could either be happy with his continued treatment of me... or I could walk away. I honestly didn't want to do it... nor could I continue with the way things were. And even after it was done.. he still had opportunity to get in touch with me.. to work it out.. if he cared enough to give it a try... even for friendships sake. Obviously I wasn't worth the effort to him any longer. A part of me hopes he enjoys his new love.. and part of me hopes she is smart enough to realize he is trying to pull her away from her own bf with his charm... and kicks him to the floor of realization.

My own life has gotten hectic. I am due to have moved in another week or so. I still don't want to have to.. and I still have no other recourse. So if I become.. well.. really scarce online over the next.. ohh idunno year?! sorry.. at least youl know where I got to. For those of my friends who perhaps consider me worthy enough to continue to know, email me once in awhile. k? I will find the time and space for at least that.


oh.. and Merry Christmas.

another update

My apologize for being fairly uncharacteristic of late. My life is going through a bit of turmoil this holiday season. Funny how this kind of thing seems to happen around this time every year...hmm.. sensing a pattern here. Well, in spite of such insanity, I still am most thankful for my friends, for without such valuable friends, it all would seem so much more overwhelming and devastating to me.

Tars, krunch, wolf, green, mesh, mousey, darks, hina, fram, kori, molly, mork, dawn, Ros, masu, and a ton of new friends on fbook lol! Thanks you all for being such wonderful friends of mine!

Merry Christmas Yall!

Giving Thanks

Things I am thankful for.

God, the great spirit that created all of this.
hot running water and the clouds in the sky.
the caring of a good solid friendship.
being able to see mountain vistas as well as the high-rises of big cities and the expanse of working farmlands of the country.
being able to hear bird song as well as all the different styles and expressions of music in the world!
fuzzy kitties and graceful strong horses.
family, both the good and the not-so-good.
Being able to learn from mistakes.

Couldn't hope to be able to post everything.

Hope you have a wonderful thanksgiving weekend!

How Far

How Far
by Martina Mcbride

There's a boat, I could sail away
There's the sky, I could catch a plane
There's a train, there's the tracks
I could leave and I could choose to not come back
Oh never come back

There you are, giving up the fight
Here I am begging you to try
Talk to me, let me in
But you just put your wall back up again
Oh when's it gonna end

[Chorus:]
How far do I have to go to make you understand
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are
So I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say ..how far

There's a chance I could change my mind
But I won't, not till you decide
What you want, what you need
Do you even care if I stay or leave
Oh, what's it gonna be

[Chorus]

Out of this chair, or just across the room
Halfway down the block or halfway to the moon

How far do I have to go to make you understand
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are
So I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say
YeahI'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say ..how far

Pomplawha?

Hail Mary
by Pomplamoose



Mister Sandman
by The Chordettes
Sung by Pomplamoose
--------------


'So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.'
Matthew 7:12

What I'd like to know is, what happens should they do unto you in ways you would rather they not, even after all you have done unto them? Does karma eventually run over their dog or something?
--------------


Listening to:
see above
Reading: A Christmas Carol
Current Show: 'Vampire Diaries' and 'The Guild'
Feeling: sorrowful and pissed
Internet Tabs: Runes of Magic
Obsessing Over: realization of heartbreak and moving woes.
Current Rant: too many to want to type them all out.

A Carol of Advice

""Our contract is an old one. It was made when we were both poor and content to be so, until, in good season, we could improve our worldly fortune by our patient industry. You are changed. When it was made, you were another man."

"I was a boy," he said impatiently.

"Your own feeling tells you that you were not what you are," she returned. "I am. That which promised happiness when we were one in heart, is fraught with misery now that we are two. How often and how keenly I have thought of this, I will not say. It is enough that I have thought of it, and can release you."

"Have I ever sought release?"

"In words? No. Never."

"In what, then?"

"In a changed nature; in an altered spirit; in another atmosphere of life; another Hope as its great end. In everything that made my love of any worth or value in your sight. If this had never been between us," said the girl, looking mildly, but with steadiness, upon him; "tell me, would you seek me out and try to win me now? Ah, no!"

He seemed to yield to the justice of this supposition, in spite of himself. But he said with a struggle," You think not?"

"I would gladly think otherwise if I could," she answered, "Heaven knows. When I have learned a Truth like this, I know how strong and irresistible it must be. But if you were free to-day, to-morrow, yesterday, can even I believe that you would choose a dowerless girl -- you who, in your very confidence with her, weigh everything by Gain: or, choosing her, if for a moment you were false enough to your one guiding principle to do so, do I not know that your repentance and regret would surely follow? I do; and I release you. With a full heart, for the love of him you once were."

He was about to speak; but with her head turned from him, she resumed.

"You may -- the memory of what is past half makes me hope you will -- have pain in this. A very, very brief time, and you will dismiss the recollection of it, gladly, as an unprofitable dream, from which it happened well that you awoke. May you be happy in the life you have chosen.""

A Christmas Carol
by Charles Dickens
------------------


""...you must take the time to see your partner's soul and feel safe enough to reveal your own soul. For this feeling of safety to occur, you must trust your partner's integrity. Take the time to find out if your partner values embracing empathy, listening, direct communication, honesty, loyalty and growth. After all, a guy's character will always be the determinant behind his choosing to be naughty or nice — thereby making you feel sad or happy.

Think about all those fabulous Prince Charmings in fairy tales. What makes a Prince Charming truly "Princely"? Prince Charmings are made of good strong character. They're noble, kind and generous with good deeds. Plus, they support a Princess in becoming liberated, so she can venture forth to become her fullest royal potential.

Meanwhile, evil Prince Harmings are just as good-looking, rich and charismatic as Prince Charmings. A Prince Harming's huge difference is the one spotted within his spotty character. Prince Harmings suffer from major character defects which create scenarios to torture and imprison a Princess.

Meaning? Although you might feel as if you're experiencing love at first sight with a Prince Harming, what you're really experiencing is infatuation at first sight — because all you're simply crushing on is this man's superficial self, not his superinsidehim self.

All of this leads me to a very important question: Do you really prefer to place a higher value on a guy's superficial aspects (his sexiness, funniness, smartness, wealthiness) more than you value his superinsidehim self (his character, his soul)?

If so, then there is a big danger you will wind up involved with a guy who's rude, angry, dishonest, disloyal, hurtful, non-communicative, unempathic and selfish! As a result, all of his inner bad qualities will make you feel unhappy, insecure, unsafe, frazzled, neurotic and totally crazy. Your love life should not be your suffering life. The number one reason to spend time with a guy is that he makes you feel happier and he is improving your life.""


The Number One Thing to Look for in a Partner
By Karen Salmansohn

oo.. do I hear strains of oldguy dance music for 6flags? How fun!

I miss you
by Basshunter



Angel in the Night
by Basshunter



Boten Anna
by Basshunter
-------------


Life goes ever onward. This week so far has been one of waiting. much like the feeling a little kid gets when his mom says "Just you wait until your father gets home!" Its like a foreboding feeling that sends shivers of agony racing up and down my spine all day long.

Still, I have learned a little something about myself over the last day or so.

People really need to stop reading into my 'just curious' questions. Honestly, they are just as I say they are, curiosity. Thats it. I'm not trying to convey anything hidden deeper... no supreme moodiness or dark intent. k? It's one of the main reasons my sense of curiosity gets me into trouble a lot.

And to go with that... when you say something to me, and I reply with a 'huh?'.. I am not asking you to repeat that very same thing over again. I said 'huh' because I either didn't hear you correctly, or I didn't get what you just said. Try explaining using different words. Just use a little of that English you know and restructure your sentence a bit. If you think on it a little.. there are several ways of saying the very same thing. Try a few.

Blastoff!

Ok, for those of you maybe interested in a nice portal space.. that gives room for yer news and vids etc.. plus has nice opportunities for online shopping... plus, and this is the best part... its totally free! Check it out *here*
oh.. it says those 13yrs and older can sign-up.. but I think it's actually 18.

****

Have you ever made one of those really bad.. and rather obvious puns in a conversation.. and it isn't something that can really be explained... and the person you said it to, gets angry? no.. not groaning, roll the eyes, kind of thing, but huffy, pissy, ticced-off! Just because you really are not in the mood to try explaining just why it's a pun. I mean.. even after you make some lame attempt at it, then try to dismiss it because the pun wasn't even worth the trying for. I just had one of those experiences.. and the person not only got huffy, but stomped off. What a horribly lame reason to pick a fight/tantrum over. I just don't get that.

The definition of a pun is:
A play on words, either on different senses of the same word or on the similar sense or sound of different words.
A pun is a play on words, often humorous, that uses words that have similar or identical sounds but very different meanings.
The use of a word, or of words which are formed or sounded alike, in such a way as to juxtapose, connect, or bring out two or more of the possible applications of the word or words, usually in a humorous way; a play on words


Kind of like, if someone should ask you "what is up?".. and you reply with your height, the ceiling, clouds etc. because all of those things are 'up' from your perspective. using the same question, you could also say you are not, if you are sitting down.

****

Which is the most feared of the forest inhabitants?
A hawk claimed that, because he had the ability to fly, he could attack anything from above, and his prey wouldn't have a prayer.
"Due to my strength, no one would challenge me!" said the lion, pride fully.
The skunk, incensed, said, "I need neither flight nor might to frighten off any creature!"
The trio were debating the issue, when a grizzly bear came along and swallowed all,
HAWK, LION, and STINKER.

-----

Why I flunked English

Let's face it: English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England nor french fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? =20

In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another? When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on. When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it? Now I know why I flunked English. It's not my fault-the silly language doesn't quite know whether it's coming or going.

I'm only me when I'm with you
--Taylor Swift

Video found Here

I had read Taylor Swift's little self-blurb on the video site linked above. In it she says she still believes Prince Charming is out there somewhere. It kind of reminded me of something someone said to me one time.. it went something along the lines of wondering if I liked the idea of princes and princess maybe I would like a tiara. I replied that I didn't know as I had never tried one on before. It's a rather interesting thought tho. no, I'm not into tiara's and royalty trappings. (but for maybe the royal purple color, which I love!) Still.. I do like the many 'happy ever-after' type stories. You might say I even prefer them over the the many disaster and horror fliks gracing the big screen of late. so.. maybe in a way.. I do hold hope of a 'prince charming' somewhere in the world. Even after all of the pain and hurt of love and loss which seems to plague my life.

Oh and seriously, if you have not seen the Princess Bride. you really really should. Look for a link to it *here* to see if its working on youtube. It's an epic fantasy story.

blargh!

It'd almost make a good book if i wasn't so wrapped up in it. 2 people meet online, get to know one another a little. Really enjoy eachothers company. then seemingly out of no-where... there is a battle... it's been taken too far, too quickly... they bounce off of one another in a bad way.. things are said.. hurt is delivered... cant go back. can't take it back. and its done. Now scarcely friends.

Maybe it doesn't matter anymore.. but it still hurts. Maybe I should just forget the pain.. But I don't think I can. Maybe we can't rewind the time.. but I want to.

White Horse

You Belong With Me
by Taylor Swift


White Horse
by Taylor Swift

ok

a confession and a story...

ok, see, there's this guy I like.. and he seems to like me too, only of late.. one day he heard a rumor.. about me, and it just wigged him out in a really bad way.. I got all defensive, he got defensive back.. and it kinda yanked us both off a cliff. then, in efforts to save what we still might have, I tried apologizing, hoping to open us up for more then 'idle chitchat' anymore.. We used to be able to talk so comfortably. and he said he had forgotten the hurt.. that there was nothing to really talk about.. and maybe I should forget the pain as well. I could no longer talk to him about any of it or risk 'misunderstanding' and his yelling fiercely at me before stomping off.
It has reminded me of a cat I once knew.. yeahh I hear you going wtf? but I think it relates..

There was this place I was staying at .. and this girl there had gotten a kitten one day. It was a cute little black thing with big ol eyes.. a very small puffball and cute as anything. But her bf, who was also staying there was anti-catbox. So they put the kitten outside.
Now, you have to understand the area this takes place in. It was rather countryish. At night, we had 4-footed visitors from all over the place. big marauding dogs, huge ol grumpy racoons, slinky and dangerous bobcats, aromatic skunk, and mountain lion that would come sniffing around for tasty midnight snacks.
so.. the girl put the cat up on a balcony of a shed near the house. she gave it food and water and left it there. I felt so badly for that poor little kitty... all alone in the dark and hostile area. It cried and cried and cried. all night long, each and every night that I would stay there.
As I didn't get along with the girl, her bf, and the other friends of theirs staying there, I often found excuse to sleep over at a friend of mine's place. Eventually, the friends of those two, (the girl and her bf) had made the news and the place was closed up for a time. After a few days, another friend came to take the animals away with them in a cross-country move.
I had opportunity to follow them to the new area a bit later and here is that kitty. looking skrawny and unkempt. It was fed, and eventually gained a little weight but.. idunno.. something was amiss with its mental state. We took to calling it skittykitty because it would be all purring and friendly one moment but it with turn faster then a rattlesnake and take to biting and hissing horribly if you got too close. Oh, you could reach out to touch it, pet, love and comfort.. and be nothing but as sensitive as possible, but something would quirk it.. some unseen, or unknown inside of it would put its tail in a twist. You'd pet it once, twice maybe.. and it would purrrrr. then stop and be chewing on your hand in a quarter second. What had caused it to go all wonky like that, I'm not sure. but it was most certainly not a comfortable type of cat to be around. Not if you valued your hands.


So now.. it feels there is this distance between this guy and me, that wasn't there before. I feel I am trying to pet the skittykitty in trying to talk to him... shivering inside, and thinking "any wrong move, no matter how small, and he's going to bite at me." and he has. Why is this happening? Why is he driving us apart with his sudden rattlesnake temper? Why can't he seem to see what its doing to us? Why can't we talk like we once did? Why has he become so.. impatient. distant. intolerant? Why has he become such a skittykitty to me? I don't know.
but I think my tears are about done now. My back is against the wall. Its time to put my raw feelings back into a box in a single-minded effort to cope. Maybe things can be salvaged, maybe not. We need to be able to talk.. to open our communication again and resolve the starting issues. but until he gains some patience.. and stops yowling and gnashing his teeth on my being.. we will go further and further toward the edge. I can see it. I don't know if that's what he truly wants or not. Its certainly not making me feel like being so close to him with my heart anytime soon though.

On another note... It seems my brother has had a 'visit' from my mom and bonbon... Ahh! that hurts! Why doesn't the pain at least lessen.. why does it have to reduce me to sobbing every single freaking time?! :( ....damn it! =.=;
Why does all of this have to happen now? why all at once? Why does it even have to happen at all?!!?! ugh! what a life! anyone care to trade? please?!

what is love?

Consider this....
(not in any particular order.)

1. Love is.. feeling like laughing with joy when you are around your partner.
2. love is.. supporting them when they could really use it.
3. love is.. never wanting to give up on them.
4. love is.. communication.
5. love is.. understanding.
6. love is.. saying your sorry for arguing... even if you aren't sorry for your side in it.
7. love is.. learning to put up with/overlook/tolerate some of their not so wonderful traits and habits.
8. love is.. caring.
9. love is.. a test of time and endurance.
10. love is.. forgiving.



True friendship is.. communication.
true friendship is.. saying your sorry for arguing, even if you aren't sorry for your side in it.
true friendship is.. supporting them when they really could use it.
true friendship is.. understanding.
true friendship is.. a test of time and endurance.
true friendship is.. learning to put up with/overlook/tolerate some of their.. not so wonderful traits and habits.
true friendship is.. caring.
true friendship is.. feeling like laughing with joy when you are around them.
true friendship is.. forgiving
true friendship is.. never wanting to give up on them.

Sorrow

Every Time I Hear Your Name
by Keith Anderson

Finally got over that song of ours; stopped chasin' little red sports cars,
To check the license plates and I quit drivin' by your place.
Back makin' the rounds at our old haunts: Honky Tonks, restaurants.
And seein' some of our old friends: it feels good to dance again.
And I can finally smell your perfume and not look around the room for you.
And I can walk right by your picture in a frame and not feel a thing.

But when I hear your name,
I feel rain fallin' right out of the blue sky.
And it's the fifth of May, and I'm right there starin' in your eyes.
And nothin's changed, and we're still same.
And I get lost in the innocence of a first kiss,
And I'm hangin' on to every word rollin' off of your lips:
And that's all it takes, and I'm in that place,
Every time I hear your name.

Got someone special in my life; everyone thinks she'll make a great wife.
Dad says he thinks she's the one; reminds him of Mom when she was young.
But it's way too soon to be talkin' 'bout rings; don't wanna rush into anything.
She's getting over someone too, kinda like me and you.
And she talks about him every once in a while, and I just nod my head and smile,
'cause I know exactly what she's goin' through; yeah, I've been there too.

And when the conversation turns to you,
I get caught in a "you were the only one for me",
Kinda thought, and your face is all that I see.
I know I can't go back but I still go back.
And there we are, parked down by the riverside,
And I'm in your arms about to make love for the first time,
And that's all it takes, and I'm in that place,
Every time I hear your name.

I stop thinkin' 'bout the words I left unsaid.
(Every time I hear your name.)
I stop tryin' the change the things I can't change.
(Every time I hear your name.)
In my heart I know you're gone, but in my head,

I feel rain fallin' right out of the blue sky.
And it's the fifth of May, and I'm right there starin' in your eyes.
That's all it takes, and I'm in that place.
And there we are, parked down by the riverside,
And I'm in your arms about to make love for the first time.
And I can't explain, but I'm in that place,
Every time I hear your name.

*******
This song seems to reflect my mood of late... A feeling I have lost something of vast importance to me.. that I wasnt sure I had in the first place.

Another vid

this one was well put together, I thought... even if it was a little flickery.


movie: Disney etc
song: Just Dance by Lady GaGa

and another one by the same author based on the movie Anastasia.


movie: Anastasia
song: Love Story by Taylor Swift

ok.. so...

Whattowrite-whattowrite?

My week.. weeks.. month.. months? have been rollercoasting me into something of a depression. So I'm not really sure what to think, much less to say. Rather like something I once heard someone gripe about, I have repeatedly found my feelings tied up in a complete knot over someone else's words and actions.. seemingly without my full knowledge. I feel like such an idiot! I have repeatedly found myself considering knocking myself utterly brainless against the nearest hard surface because of it. I try -so- hard to do and say the right thing and it always seems to go awry... It all winds up complicating matters and driving people into a shouting snarling match, with myself placed on one side. soo, here I sit, grumbling and hissing to myself.. AT myself for even getting me into this mess in the first place and really, there's nothing for it. the first moment of weakness and I go and do it all over again. -sigh- does it -have- to end as a disaster?

To top that off, it feels like my rl situation is degrading.. bugs and all. and I've no place to flee to if it all goes down the wash. soo many things going wrong.. all seemingly at the same time. Truly, bad news -Does- travel in packs. Really Big ones too!

Beyond all that.. um...
well...
I really liked that pink vid. you might say, I know the feeling well. lol!
I have liked the series True Blood and Vampire Diaries too.. I even liked Blood Ties. too bad it was killed.
and I enjoyed Code Geass even if it did kinda end on a sad note. I also like the series of The Guild. You probably saw the vid below already.

umm... oh!

I got a visit from my sister, who I haven't seen in awhile now. We poured over dad's old photo albums, snickered at all of the cows and spoke a bit about brotherly tales, of which seems to have been swept low and and then picked up again rather unexpectedly by a welcome Samaritan. It was good to catch up a little.


Listening to:
P!nk and The guild.
Reading: nothing
Current Show: Vampire diaries.
Feeling: ughish!
Internet Tabs: fbook.. kinda
Obsessing Over: some guy who lives in another country.
Current Rant: too many to want to type them all out.

P!nk -So What!

nice scene and song

I'll make a man, out of you.

-Mulan